a shadow of the moon sighs silence
the silence cold with unfeeling touch
the shadow frozen by winter’s silence
a shadow of the moon in the distance
a whimper cried from depth of heart
the heart in need of human touch
the whimper freed to serve the heart
a whimper cried from depth of hutch
Author notes
This poem was prompted by the rhyme scheme form that has been developed by myrataal, and coined the 'Myrrha'. Please see the following to find a description of how to write this form: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4574375
My attempt has not been exactly correct, and therefore I will with slight change to my poem, present another attempt, thanks to Myra - please see: Shadow's heart at http://allpoetry.com/poem/4582673
My attempt [see poem above] is slightly different form to that of myrataal's, and should be viewed as a Myrrha variation:
Stanza 1: end rhyme word of first line to link in meaning with end word of line 2 and 4, but maintaining a end word rhyme for line 1 and 4 [silence, touch, distance]
Stanza 2: a slight change here, but end word of lines 2 and 4 should be rhymed while the meaning of the end word in line 4, should be linked in meaning to that of lines 1, 2 and repeated in 3 [heart, touch hutch].
Please try the Myrrha form as developed by Myra - it is such an exciting journey.
In a list
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Wonderful Write!
This is just how I feel today! I'm feeling like a shadow & I'm whimpering! Now that I've seen this in print it's helping me to get on with my day! I know what to do & I don't know why I let myself stay with the thoughts of 'chaos' I had since I woke [spooky dreams last night & then some unpleasant occurrences since yesterday!] This is an interesting form & I haven't looked at what parameters you didn't keep, but it refreshed this soul! Thanks for this friend!
-
Breathtakingly Beautiful!!!
Frans, I always love to read any poetry on the moon, as well as on shadows. Your poetic form is very interesting, I'll have to give it a try one day. For now, I'm happy with being a simple poet. At any rate, this is a lovely poem, and I sincerely thank you for sharing your muse's creativity!!! Peace Always, Cyn 
xXx
-
reading this poem i found my chest cold.
a whimper cried from depth of heart
the heart in need of human touch- the best part for me, oh i'm such a liar, i love every part. but reading these two lines i had to stop, and think a bit.
always a pleasure Frans.
-
-
Thanks evanna
I am glad that you enjoyed it. This poem has some sentimental value for me, as its scheme comes from the initiative of a dear friend of mine. Frans
-
-
This poem for some reason makes association for me to a spiral. It revolves around the prompt in swirling strokes with each end on the stanza being an epicentre of meaning. Great work and although I struggle with the understanding the format, I sure appreciate the result!
-
-
I did not get it right
both first and second time, and then created a 'spin-off' version to myrataal's beuatiful poem. Follow the site indicators and try it. It's fun. Frans
Ps
Oh, thanks for reading this poem.
-
-
This is a beautiful poem and I know I will enjoy reading your second work on this theme. You are an inspirational poet who writes with such grace and gentleness. I always look forward to your offerings. Thank you for being one of the driving forces behind the titles group. You are a treasure. Peace, Liz
-
-
Thanks for the kind word,
these are a motivation in itself. The honour should go to myrataal for this write. Hope all is well with you and the family. Frans
-
-
Wow!
How good is that????
You are just so good at mastering these forms, i love it, full of emotion.
be blessed
Dolores x
-
-
Dolores,
not quite, I have been sent back to the 'drawing board', as I missed the internal rhyme. But, now I can 'do some more' to this poem, and what's more, Myra's given me a second chance! Lovies to you. Frans
-
-
It is a beautiful, poem, Frans ...
and you really managed to capture the reinforcing slant. If you look at my example, you would see that there is an internal rhyme scheme between Stanza 1 line 2, and Stanza 2, line 2; and between Stanza 1 line 3 and Stanza 2 line 3:
a temple built by trees captured my soul
the trees are deeply rooted, old, apart
the temple old is ancient as my soul
a temple built by trees captured my soul
a warbling song of whispers aired my heart
the whispers lovely fluted, bold, an art
the warbling bold is ancient as my heart
a warbling song of whispers aired my heart
See the progression in the lines. With not much effort, you can build that into your poem, as a second variation (please leave your first attempt intact ... it is a lovely poem).
You are amazing. Thank you for trying this form.
Love
Myra
-
-
Friend or foe,
the first always, the second never! I wrote this before jumping into bed last night, and knew something was not quite right, but now I know -
I just do not have
the sensitivity for rhyme,
but this will not get me down!
See, I still have a problem! Thanks for your wonderful guidance, the being there to coach, point out, and to enable 'some more' in me. Lovies to you too. Frans -
-
Frans, Friend ...
there is NO RIGHT AND WRONG IN POETRY.
If you cannot or do not want to be a purist, then you simply say: Myrrha, variation. See?
You write wonderful poetry. Never compare! Every poem has its own ambiance, its own charm.
Enjoy!
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
