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an ordinary person...

Missing image
Oh my love

whenever I bordered your skin
cherished your lips
I perceived that you are an angelic frau

I am ,therefore, not fascinated
to embrace you any more

I can endure without you
but can't continue
with you, as an ordinary person

Oh my love...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Rose Angel gold member
    October 14, 2008

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    A refreshing perceptive shared that when we live with someone we adore they are angelic, and we are changed by their presence..Beautiful Prabhu!

  • ea silver member
    October 7, 2008

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    Hmmm, I think this is often true within erotic love - I am curious about your choice of the German word for woman, "frau," here.


  • Krispi
    October 2, 2008
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    very sweet. Good job.


  • Robbwindow
    September 15, 2008

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    What is it to be ordinary?

    I guess this is a personal poem, but at the same time I feel inspired to analyse it more, only briefly mind. To border the skin gives it that impression that your board of the flesh, but then lifts into the importance of the lips, and maybe the gratitude of a kiss but then you question this in the next line (Frau). MonFrauw in dutch is madame. Could it be you don't want to have your head in the clouds with a women you've far superseded this what seems to me now from reading this poem a flaky reality or expectation of love. Then this to be the key to love is impeached with a power of saying you love but then the love of something more spiritual to function and be the man that ordinarily would be acceptable to man, women, self and whatever else. Great poetries and nice picture. Oh my days is this about the loss of a women?


  • Gwenevere
    September 14, 2008

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    I read this as having taken the final step in a relationship that takes away the magic element.For in lust something is lost.Unless of course it is a relationship born if love and then you would both fly on Angel's wings, Ros


  • spiritualangel
    September 13, 2008
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    Beautiful. Best of Luck.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 8, 2008

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    I love your style of writing, this is an outstanding poem. Angels can be found here on earth as well. you've captured so much within this poem. I'm in awe.
    you're interpretation of this prompt is amazingly beautiful.

    good luck in the contest

    kat


  • Hikari Lady
    September 8, 2008

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    "I can endure without you
    but can't continue
    with you, as an ordinary person"

    I do believe that there are angels on earth, people who are innocent and keep fighting to keep it. Life changes even angels with its cruelness, we've all been innocent and beautiful when we were little what made us the 'us' now is the people around who are 'us' too.
    As I expected when I clicked to read your poem, another masterpeice, short and to the point and heartfelt.
    You showed in the last line that sometimes we don't appreciate those who are as angels in our lives that we push them away just cause we can't keep up with thier beauty. Thanks for sharing, it's one great poem, that I am bookmarking to read over and over.


  • rhondasail
    September 8, 2008

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    I sense a continuing spilling from the last lines. No longer an ordinary person, but continuing as an extraordinary person...I like this one...At first read, it feels so desolate and despairing, but in the end...there is a hopeful note... ...One of your very best heartfilled writes, my Poet. Best wishes in the contest. Peace, Rhonda


  • Rovingone gold member
    September 8, 2008

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    A most unique interpretation of the prompt. You wrote it with your customary mastery of language and caught the feeling in a entirely enlightened way.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 8, 2008

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    Dear poet, the majority of us are ordinary mortals and rarely encounter an earth angel though they exist, walking without wings and yet still managing to fly.

    You write with your own inimitable voice, I am conscious of the nuances and inflections. For me, the usage of the germanic frau stood out from the poem, not to suggest that there are no angelic german angels but it somehow stood apart for me and that maybe my fault for thinking too deeply ( its a curse!)

    I felt the sense of sadness from this impossible situation where one is on a pedastal out of reach and the other sits in the sadness of the situation.


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