Filthy hands caresses my skin
As your words lose their meaning
And my heart starts to blacken
Tainted slowly as the world decays
Fill my mouth with ash
And look me straight in the eye
I'm too dead to run
And I'm losing the will to hide
Children screaming and grasping my hands
But my eyes are so hollow
And I can no longer feel their pain
Fasten these straps around my head
It won't change how I think
You've tainted my being
Now you shall pay the price
For I have lost the fight
And you're slowly overrunning my soul
Like a puzzle I can hear the different cries
Children and men alike
Preaching to the skies
As I watch their angels being taken away
Eventually I'll stand in the mirror
And look into my eyes
When will I fail to recognise my face?
Society is slowly rotting
An infectious disease to me
Slowly my heart and mind shall rot
Bits and pieces falling from my skin
Let me reach this peak of perfection
Remove the angels and the love
Let me become coma black
Author notes
Voila
A contest entry
- Prewrites welcome.... by Luckintheshadows.
500 points, ended September 10, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those greenies into gold (or silver or bronze) #6 by whispernthedark.
700 points, ended September 27, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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{Fill my mouth with ash
And look me straight in the eye
I'm too dead to run
And I'm losing the will to hide}
my fav part =)
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Very nice write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Excellent! Loving the darkness that prevails throughout this piece. Your imagery is marvelous, I feel like I can see this poem so clearly in my mind. One little itty-bitty criticism is the overuse of the word 'rot'..'decay/ing' would make a good change and add some more impact to an already super poem. Thank you for sharing this, and for taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
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Thanks. I changed it around =D
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I loved the morbidness of this piece. It made me think about how society truly is rotting...sometimes I, too, wonder if the world's toxic will infect me as well...
Quite a thought-provoking poem. Nice job.
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wow. this is beautifully morbid and delightful to the eye, such a powerful and poignant piece! I was left speechless and that's a hard thing to do to me! Really an astounding piece, good luck in the contest I am sure you will place in it, keep writing, could you possibnle return the favour? Much appreciated hon
xx
Love Georgia xx
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