Evolution
of the mind
escapes the heart
but to entwine
the soul and thought
into enmasse,
rather than seep
into crevasse
of memories
and dreams unsolved
that we try so hard
to dissolve.
It is a fight
that we can win;
it is a night
absorbed in whim.
It is with ease
we take our stand
into the light
with others' hand.
We'll smile to it,
sing its song,
for we are brave and
we are stong.
Author notes
Sort of let my mind go fuzzy and tell me what I needed to know.
I need some cheering up too heh.
Best of luck with the contest, honest feedback thanks.
(I put 'depressed' in the categories so that if a depresed person is looking for a matching poem, they might notice mine and cheer up too lol)
A contest entry
- [Cheer me up (again) ] by whiterabbit..
400 points, ended October 25, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How Do You Like My Soul? --- Critique
Comments
-
Ooh I do like it when you let your mind go fuzzy!
Poems that are only one sentence long [technically] can be so difficult to write, and to make them work, but I really enjoyed this; you did a great job with it!
-
This is very very short but good hun, It seemed alittle out of flow and I can tell your saddened hun I can sense it. I hope your ok. talk to me
All my love
your vampy xxx -
I really like this. It's beautifully written and the flow of it is wonderful. I love your word choice and the descriptions you've used. The thoughts behind this are wonderful as well. Great write and thanks for entering.
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