i.
its not as easy as it looks you know.
i walk around with my head sagging lower
than your jeans. scuffling my feet to the
sound of what usually was your heartbeat.
my fingertips are death without yours to
keep them company.
ii.
we were once nothing but truth or dares.
the truth was i dared to love you and
when it boiled down. you dared not to
care.
iii.
so here i am trying to inhale stale air
without thinking of your scent burrowing
itself in my pores. my breathing is reducing
and my vision is becoming blurred. the words
you shoot out at me start to tighten their grasp
around my neck.
iv.
is this your idea of "time away from each other?"
A contest entry
- 40 song titles. by etoile.
600 points, ended September 29, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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ohmygosh!
this is a really emotional and very heart-felt write! i like how you ended it, like a sudden fullstop
awesomee 
the metaphors here, wow!!! keep penning
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thanks alot! lol especially since this poem is sooooo old lol
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this is pretty good :)) thanks for the add by the way,im christy
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This is very well done.
It's difficult to find anything to suggest with a poem like this. I think, if I had to make a suggestion, I'd suggest a part IV consisting of only the last line.
Other than that, I see nothing here that you could (or should) change.
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Truth and dare has become so much bigger. The second part is short, but powerful. As usual, this is amazing! "My fingertips are death without yours to keep them company..." "the words you shoot out at me start to tighten their grasp around my neck...". This is more proof of your unmistakable wording and style!
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hopefully this is finished because the contest is over and i'm planning on judging as soon as i finish commenting.
i loved this poem. the imagery was amazing and beautiful and the way you wrote this was fantastic. i love this style so much.
the ending is great, i loved the quote thing.
just a pet peeve of mine in poetry is when people don't capitilize the i's. otherwise this was amazing
thanks for entering
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thanks!
i know but its like i either capitalize all of it[the parts that matter] or leave it all looking uniform. and so i let it look uniform...
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I love this. ♥
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thanks alot hun, that means so much to me. really ^_^
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