Offered tokens
When there ain't no subway
For fifty burgs 'round
I stitch up my shoes
I follow the ground
It all leads me back
Back to yesteryear
When the beat hopped
Like frog legs on lily pads
Now it's all lilliputian
And the scene is chased
Down the rabbit hole
Though Alice is absent
And I can't relate
I'll stitch up my dreams
And follow the pavement
A contest entry
- Beat Generation by GirlAnachronism.
475 points, ended September 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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liked the plain background for this. good choice with that. Stanza 4 is where it's at for me.


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Absolutely Stunning!!!
Best of luck in the contest!!!


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And the beat goes on bro
C


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Capitalizations on every line...
you know, you are an unpredictable deity.
LMAO...okay that was mean.
You're the deity of parodies of deities.
"When there ain't no subway" makes me think of lack of transporation...a metaphor for "no way out", maybe.
'yesteryear' is a kick-ass word.
"Like frog legs on lily pads" is one
-ing simile.
It's so visually strong, abstract-but-not-in-a-bad-way, and awesome.
'lilliputian'
Did you swallow a dictionary?
What does that mean?
The rabbit hole ditty makes me think of The Matrix & of course...Alice in Wonderland. Nice ref. there.
Good luck
Jessica


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Thanks.
I did all caps because that's how they did it back then. See contest. -
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Coolio
I will see thy contest.
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i like the reference to Alice In Wonderland (happens to be my favourite childhood movie). great length, great lines. thanks for entering!
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