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fireflies & faces in the flames

as june and july exchange niceties
fireflies flicker
otherworldly green

woodsmoke laces night air
faces rise and fade
orange and blue

tree spirits freed
from broken branches
burned in a circle of stones

loons call to them
ducks laugh like young girls from the point
clouds part slight pathways to the stars

the ground rustlecrunches alive

music drifts in waves from across the lake


just nod if you can hear me...

 

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    March 8

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    ducks laugh like young girls from the point ... that note of authenticity ... and the ending resolves much ... not sure about the need to italicize, though ...


    • jantastic gold member
      March 8
      Edit | Reply
      I don't tend to italicize a lot in poems. I think I did because it's a lyric (Pink Floyd). Thanks for all the wonderful comments (and I do have a book full).


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very meditative feeling. gazing at the faces in the fire, the fireflies flickering. i hear both yes and floyd in this. beautiful!


  • zochit2me gold member
    October 2, 2008

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    I am nodding
    this is full of imagery and beautiful scenes.
    Love the ducks laughing and the clouds making pathways to the stars...sigh.
    Yep I am nodding

    ♥Becky♥


  • Cat gold member
    September 28, 2008

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    i'm nodding

    this is wonderful. the blue and orange faces are especially good.

    wonderful entry

    m


  • sheltered
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    NOD


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really nice Jan, i like imagery here... the ducks laughing works for me

    and i love the conversational close

    great entry


    al


  • luna-midnight gold member
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww, i love the ending, lovely write and good luck in the contest. take care
    Stephanie ♥

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now I want to go camping with you


  • Grunts Girl gold member
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    young girls from the point....

    ohhh that made this!
    the places you took me within my own girlhood!!!!

    nodding...

1 - 11 of 11