My interpretation of life falters
somewhere between dreams of yggdrasil
and nightmares of angels.
Between fog and clouds
the grey and the in between
snatch at my coattails,
begging not to be ignored.
The moment after autumn,
but before winter;
the dance gripped in the clench of daylight
and the struggle of night.
When does beauty become diluted...
faded?
The mystery ceased.
It was like losing my innocence
all over again.
More terrifying than the calm before the storm,
it's the silence betwixt them.
Life screams a monologue at us,
blurring every line it finds.
Author notes
Pic Cred: Lost by Aedan at deviantart.com
A contest entry
- Contest for free verse poems... PW of Sept'08 allowed by Manoj Sanyal.
370 points, ended September 15, 2008, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I found this dark. I was attracted to this fine piece of writing of yours. Your imagery is stark, cold, and deep. It drew me in. Keep writing, You have a gift.
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
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Your poetry swings like a pendulem. The Tree of Life and nightmares of angels. I feel lost after reading this poem.
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Umm. Thanks. I think.
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I agree with the one that mentioned "intense". It was just that. The pure vulnerability and almost innocence is heart wrenching. Excellent take on the picture. i enjoyed it very much and I think you did an amazing job.
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i did not git the meaning but this is what it made me think of.... you know im no good at this sort of thing...
im stuck
i can not excape this
i am lost between which can not besaid
lost in the confustion of the words
no longer alive nor am i dead
for i am inbateen on what was said
i can no longer hold my head high
or bow it very low.
nether words or my actions can save me now
for all that is stuck
and i do not know how.
i am lost
i can not be found
in my head and out of my mind
for i am ibatween like i just said...
sorry but this is what came to mind whin i read this so i thought i give you what i thought .. i hope this was your intention on this... but i loved the read i bow to my master editor
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I'm stuck.
I cannot escape this.
I am lost between which cannot be said;
lost in the confusion of the words.
No longer alive, nor am I dead
for I am in between on what was said.
I can no longer hold my head high
or bow it very low.
Neither words or my actions can save me now,
for all that is stuck
and I do not know how.
I am lost...
I cannot be found.
In my head and out of my mind
for I am in between
like I just said.
This was awesome. I loved it. Awesome awesome awesome.
You got yahoo messenger?
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whoa...you've got some mighty ink in that pen of yours!
wow!
I must have read this three times to enjoy the
power and imagery in it!
way to write! wow!
ears/Seattle sis
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WOW. And I loved the wording in here "betwixt"? If that's a real word, then lol way way cool for putting it in there! I like that word, ima use it sometime maybe... anyway, this was simply OUTSTANDING. Awesome, awesome job!
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Stunning.
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Hey,I really like this I like the usage of diluted and calm before storm,great placing.
one dislike about it is this line:
"begging to not to be ignored."
I feel that having to in there twice takes away from the flow.
Thats my opinion tho
great job anyway ap momma!
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You're very right. I did not even realize it was there. ROFL.
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Yggdrasil ... aah...life tree and theosophy..
Life dance and the in between moments.... nice.
Thanks for participation.
Best wishes and good luck,
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Intense Emotions
I liked it. Yes the dance of life is what I see here in your write. White and Black thinking and confusion with the grey... Somewhat sad I would say. Thanks for sharing with me. Best wishes in the contest.
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
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WOW this was intense and make you think, I loved the whole concept of this poem, it was amazing. The words you chose just flowed and it all came together. This was an awesome write, Wonderful job!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Had to look up yggdrasil and found the reference more than apt - thanks for extending my knowledge (puny? no, don't answer). Was also gripped by:
The moment after autumn,
but before winter;
the dance gripped in the clench of daylight
and the struggle of night.
Thanks for sharing.
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i stand and give you applause my lady this is golden, keep it flowing, my friend, you are one of the best
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::huggles::
You are just too awesome. I luff ya so mush.
Tee hee.
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A very intense poem ...
juxtaposing sentiments and feelings ... the calm and the storm; the mystery and the clarity; daylight and night. The interpretation of transition worked well, capturing the silence between calm and storm. Intense yes.
Well done, Jessi.
Love
Myra
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Wow. Thank you so much for your kind and awesome comment. It is much appreciated.
~*~SP~*~
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