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Thunderbolt

Blink-blaze beyond arrows broken
and blast blind false beacons
with brouhaha minus negative

Cerulean booms on horizon
like god-chant to summon thunder-claps
from distant parts of compass

Cancel other distractions
and experience Optimus Maximus

Author notes

Optimus Maximus - A Latin title for Jupiter, King Of The Gods meaning, "The Best and The Greatest"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Cat
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like that you stepped outside the box to bring this take on thunderbolt to the contest-
    it is unexpected -
    i do think a tad to alliterative.. but well done

    thanks so much for entering this..

    haha on optimus prime comment below..


    m


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    highly aliterative, maybe to much in S1?

    some nice ideas and imagery and a great use of the prompt...

    thanks for entering this here


    al


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Optimus Maximus isn't that a character in the movie the Transformers? kidding...

    that's some serious alliteration in stanza one. love the word brouhaha


  • just mercedes gold member
    September 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Bouncing B!

    Very Optimus Maximus, love the way you wove yourself into the fabric.


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    September 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this
    I like reading things that I don't know what to expect from the next line!

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Love this -
    and the use of Optimus is really very cool
    you stepped outside of the expected






  • Weltt
    September 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The "B"s were bouncin' in that first stanza and i felt it! woot~!


  • notorious gold member
    September 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    MAG=God. Easy enough.

  • notorious gold member
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Optimus Maximus...
    holy shit, it sounds like a spell that requires a wand...
    in the realm of HARRY POTTY!!!
    YEAH!!!
    YEAH!!!
    YEAH!!!
    YEAH!!!

    Oops...
    GORGEOUS hyphen in between 'blink' & 'blaze'...just makes it look soooo distinguished & hyphen-y.

    "brouhahah minus negitive"
    Did you mean 'negative'?
    'brouhahah' I don't know anyone who laughs like this genuinely, but I love this.

    Yes...your inclusion of yourself works nicely.
    You are my substitute for religion.
    Hell yeah!!!

    Love the overdose of self-esteem here...


    Jessica


    • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
      September 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wingardium leviosa!

      Accio Jessica!

    • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
      September 7, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I fixed.. again before your comment. lol

      brouhaha doesn't actually mean laugh..

      A brouhaha is a noisy clamorous response to a stimulus, produced by a crowd. It can also refer to the reaction expressed over a period of time to an event. It usually carries negative connotations, the uproar being an utterance of discontent, however it has taken on a milder nuance and a 'brouhaha' may be used to describe a clamor arising for no good reason.
      It originates from the German word of the same spelling. - Wikipedia

      • notorious gold member
        September 7, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Hmm...well, I would use 'brouhahah' as a substitute for say, 'MUAHAHAHAHA, DIE BITCH!"

        Nice Wikipedia definition.
        For a moment, I was getting freaked out that you wrote that yourself...

        Wikipedia is a bloody nerd.
        I should go beat it up...since I love it so much.


  • Cannonsfire
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol I think we will just bow down before you and say yes almighty, you win! ....negative??? maybe


  • notorious gold member
    September 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OMG how do you write so much?!


  • Cannonsfire
    September 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Waiting with baited breath

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