Was a typical Catholic wedding, structured, strict,
granny and mom running the whole doggon show.
Pomp and tradition making Bride, Groom both convict,
how we were going to have fun at the reception I didn't know.
Everything so structured, damn it got me nervous,
made it through the toast, Tarentella too.
It's tough being the DJ at a wedding like this,
how it would turn out at the end, only God knew.
It was time for the bouquet and garter, usually fun,
I dreaded the disapproving matrons would ruin it all.
Bouquet was tossed, elbows thrown, it was done,
some small amount of blood was shed, was a close call.
Was time for the garter now, the bride sat down,
Groom head first diving under voluminous dress.
The Bride giggled and squirmed, mom had a frown,
he was under there so long I was impressed.
Slowly he withdrew, an inch at a time,
bride lifting her butt once off the chair.
They're married now, it's not a crime,
the disapproving biddies better beware.
Out he slowly comes with a grin from ear to ear,
he had her thong in his teeth, I had to cheer.
Grandma almost passed out, Mom turned beet red,
us three had set this up, grins were widespread.
Author notes
Option #9 
PROMPT FOR THIS ROUND IS:
WRITE A POEM ABOUT THE FUNNIEST THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN, HEARD , DONE, OR IMAGINED. HOW IT CAME TO BE THE FUNNIEST THING YOU EVER EXPERIENCED OR THOUGHT OF I DON'T REALLY CARE BUT IT HAS TO BE KNEE SLAPPIN, FOOT STOMPIN, ROLLING ON THE FLOOR FUNNY!
It must make me laugh in:
10 - 40 lines of poetry(no more or no less)
In a list
A contest entry
- MUDSLIDE HUMOR CONTEST ROUND #2- invite only- for all finalist of 1st rounds 10 contest ~#119~ by Roaddog Wolf.
1225 points, ended September 21, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Was it worth posting?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Hmmmm this is a very interesting poem to be sure. Unfortunately, i found that some of the rhythm was a bit awkward, particularly in the first stanza.. maybe its just me, im not sure. However, you told the story well with good description, and got me laughing a bit.
Well done and good luck
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good job
really good job
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My husband does wedding photography on the side and has seen this a time or two. Says it's hysterical every time. Great poem!
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wow this is really good thanks for the read good write
♥ L.L.P
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There's a hoot. The groom's under there so long maybe the Best Man had better dive in after him! Hnyark!
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I like this poem... i like how the topic... its pretty much a redneck hillbilly wedding... thats awesome
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Excellent
Most unigue! Well written, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
This made me grin... especially at the end of it. Good creative idea. Great job
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lol... well penned. u gave me my first smile in a long time. twas only the first verse that kinda hit me hard... i only got married 15 may... my husband tis in jail n im goin soon. still... a v funny piece and i woulda given u moren an honourable mention... def gold in my eyes,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
Wonderful
Ah, such a great creation. Sooo funny. Congrats on the honorable mention.
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wow that is funny -good write
peace,
freedom -
It is not the wedding ceremony itself creating all this fun. I guess it is the process before the wedding actually made me laugh... woo... both convicted? That gotta be a hell lots of fun.
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this would no doubt be funny as hell to see
especially at the type of wedding you described. This was fun read. Reminded me about,..... ahhh nahhh let's not go there, lol. Good write
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Weddings can be so boring when stuffy traditions takes away from the pleasure and enjoyment of the day.You had me LMAO with this one
weddings should be fun your imagery is firmly planted in my head...oh and some nasty wicked thoughts...
glad you made it back from Mars in time Nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you, this has been brewing since I posted the Reservation. I actually talked to the Groom at last nights wedding about doing this. He wouldn't.
I'll make it happen yet. 
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I will hold off judging if you have something you want to get done and submitted so please let me know before I close the contest.
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hope you get back to finishing your pondering
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Me too, I have been trying to write something for this since I posted the reservation. My funny muse seems to have gone on vacation.
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