When grandmother passed
I had to score a bag
So fast, I stayed awake 3 days
Tattooing rune stones
and constellation Leo
into upper back
Spread to pillow,
fighting, drinking, biting,
on the lam -- I hesitated
before picking up the
long glasses, but laughed
upon seeing midgets dancing far
off upon the road, flipping me the
bird and mooning.
I can be a sad weak man,
or I can be king.
But both will prevail.
A contest entry
- Collage by Cat.
3500 points, ended October 4, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
i can't decide if i think this is fun or tragic
i think both, actually..
great use of the prompt- i am especially fond of flipping me the bird and mooning.. which is just a great classic bit of imagery..
good to see you jeremi
m
-
Excellent entry and use of the prompt, really nice close...
I think they like to be called "little people", I'm not sure why...lol
al -
very nice my friend
-
i'm absolutely speechless. lol i'm going to try and comment because words cannot exactly describe how amazing this write is to me. it shows emotion, and how amazing writers these days can be
amazing write, please keep up the good work. i'll be sure to check out more of your work
amazing write
-
-
I feel the same way about your tilted hat.
-
-
what do u feel the same way about my hat?
im confused -
-
"Amazed".
-
-
-
-
I tried to adjust focus on my binoculars by reading the back wall of the Walmart from the parking lot
I was asked to leave -
Intriguing
looking back and reflecting on ones
past can be very rewarding. At the same
time it can be costly. Only making you
lose valuable time rehearsing yesterdays
faults. I'm not sure where you actually
were going with this piece. But this is
the reaction I got.
-
Superb
A very fine write. Reminds me of an old saying that I read many years ago: "Brother to a prince and fellow to a begger, if he be found worthy." I first found this at the head of a Joseph Conrad story called: "Heart of Darkness". Once again, well done.
Here's a link to Wikipedia's article on "Heart of Darkness".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Darkness
Author: Joseph Conrad - http://www.online-literature.com/conrad/ -
This sounds like a poem about a drug trip. Is it? The last 3 lines are strong. They really tie the whole poem together. Good luck in the contest.
-
ruin stones...rune stones?
gotta love the midgets and the comsi, comsa ending.
-
Very abstract and well penned! Love the mixture of emotions in it and the contrasting images. The poem is very long-strung and feels like a journey. very good!
-
Kaleidoscopic collage. Great play, killer finale.
-
I enjoyed the play within reality of all this
The last stanza is my favorite
-
A very interesting take on the prompt.. The way binoculars come into play in this piece is really unique.. I really liked it.. A very intriguing read. thank you very much for sharing.. best of luck..
Angel
-
Unusual perspective to say the least. The metaphor of the binoculars seems to indicate the 'king' is in control for now.
-
nice last stanza
-
Nice use of the prompt
didn't beat me over the head with it
and seems to me it asks the reader
not to take it too seriously
and I can always appreciate that.
-
write hard
I hear that...shite happens, its life, how one chooses to deal is there own business, and if they dont like it screw em! -
What a great little piece
I can be a sad weak man, or I can be king. But both will prevail.
ain't that the truth
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
