airify the fluff of my wings
charred as they are
with intent to claw skyward
gusts that sculpt breath
blown in awkward precision
and piston resolve
above heights of sand dunes
into sweltering heavens
and I will lift you with me
towering to the hilt
of simplicity
with love as our sail
Author notes
Art credit: images.timnhanh.com/photo/pictures/20070704/w...
Pariac Canyon, Vermillion Cliffs Wilderness Area
A contest entry
- Wind by Peteskid.
1000 points, ended September 15, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive critique please.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Excellent
Ah, 'tis a fine inspirational write, indeed. You've expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
Love the word choice here--such power in each. Wonderful contrast between the airiness and simplicity and the more forceful images of the gusts and pistons. I think it provides a fuller picture of the dynamics of love--excellently contrived.
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Oh my, I just wanted to breathe these words. PK is right, this is brevity at its finest. Well done. So very very pleased to see a silver trophy adorn this beauty. NICE NICE NICE. A pleasure to read and enjoy. Congratulations. ~Pamela
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nice take on the prompt . . liked "intent to claw skyward" and "with love as our sail" . . good luck in the contest
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Lift off achieved here sis
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Wow
Don't know the words to describe the beauty in which you've penned this..Wow! I think it's gold.
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read or spoken aloud, a poem that rises like the thermal winds over the desert, and wind is force of physical world and of the emotions..ever skyward. Seems like so many more words than there are, brevity and precision here. Excellent. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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