Standing out in the cold, hard rain
under such a collapsible grey sky.
The raindrops bristling ice cold,
penetrating against my skin,
to where it seems they touch my bloodstream.
The cold touches my slowly-beating heart,
suppressing my ability to breathe.
For one dark second, wonder takes me,
just for one dark second,
I wonder what it feels like not to breathe air.
I refuse to fall back into the slowly sinking hole;
I quickly shake myself out of it as I scream, "No!"
There are people around me, all around me,
but not a soul notices,
my quick enrapture with such a serious disaster.
My breathing spikes; my heart released from suppression,
I take a breath; depressing thoughts race through my head.
Tear-stricken eyes are hidden by my brown hair,
I allow one tear to fall,
like rain against my wet cheek, already pelted with rain.
Such a thin brown wall hides this face from suspicion,
with just a few "I'm fine's.", everything seems so perfect.
I'd been starting to fool even myself,
with those see-through lies,
but now I'll ignore the truth of what the lies uncovered about myself.
I'm just another face in the crowds of brittle masks,
each one has it's own story, their own struggles.
I take a step on the concrete,
I hadn't realized I'd been standing still,
And I'll blend perfectly with the crowd, as always, as 'perfect' as can be.
Every mask under a stormy sky has it's own story..
Remember that.
Author notes
option 2.) phrase prompt
phrase:` tasting raindrops under brittle skies.
phrase credit: checkmate
Hope where I took the phrase's meaning is alright. Ask me if you want me to explain, I'll try the best I can.
username: dreamersalwayslive
-------------------------------
Hm, it's a little long I guess, not the longest I've made before.
Hope you like it.
A contest entry
- Proudly Presenting: ROUND 2 (: by Walk-Free.
1500 points, ended October 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - misery loves company... by nobodys-girl.
700 points, ended January 18, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
wow... you paint such amazing pictures with your words and just this entire poem is amazing. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
-
There are at least two lines per stanza that really touch my heart in this, I love the mood in this, I love the imagery, It made me tear cause this is such a good poem for one and two that this poem has so much truth everybody has a mask especially when they're sad. this peice touched my heart, it really moved me, thanks for penning this, I hope to see more.
-
This poem is amazing, I love the imagery and the way you've set this out.
"The cold touches my slowly-beating heart,
suppressing my ability to breathe."
"And I'll blend perfectly with the crowd, as always, as 'perfect' as can be."
Adored the lines above, they just seemed to jump out off the page at me.
With the lines:
"Tear-stricken eyes are hidden by my brown hair,
I allow one tear to fall,
like rain against my wet cheek, already pelted with rain."
the words "tear" and "rain" seem a bit overused, but nevertheless, a beautiful write.
Best of luck in the contest.
Forever--x
-
wow. i loved this poem because of its descriptive narration.
really visual and imaginative
and i love the phrase "Every mask under a stormy sky has it's own story"...
great work
Adding your comment:
