So easy to be good in comfort
then discrimination gone,
what need;
when all contains itself complete
so smile so joy so one
set in worldly distances
a creature of a-part,
gave itself in love
then put to test in absence from
left living in its heart
to be so full of you in this
affair of soul so given,
to taste its mystery,
then no glimpse, some distance long
a passion's flight is driven
need to reconcile a rigour when
gained and lost all feels pending,
to hunger
blows a fire of pain, to verify
yet love is never ending
wary of large in empty space
kept so good with warmth and kiss,
in 'I love you'
having known a lonely face
wants no return to this
so promise asking to be kept
a straight line all the way
a trust
is found in nature deep
not by the words we say
I see you by intentions tried
not tongues we choose by choice,
inside trickery on ourselves,
You one'd my heart especially
when I only heard one voice.
Author notes
'What need; gave itself in love to taste its mystery,
to hunger in 'I love you' a trust inside trickery on ourselves.
You one'd my heart especially
when I only heard one voice.
A contest entry
- a night without you.... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended September 13, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I'm with Gilly on this one Sol, the dislocation works.
Love isn't a straight line, but a soft spiral.
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Yes, a spiral is larger... thank you.
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i kinda like the two little poems in one.. and yet apart
... cleverly done that.. some of the language is a bit dislocated in parts but then love is like that, isn't it. it isn't always smooth and flowing.... yet the river runs still and turns
i like this one Sol... muchly
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Thank you muchly x
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Travelling inside and brinigng the joy to us...thanks for such a wonderful work..and thanks for entringmy contest..
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X
I love this...'to hunger in I love you'...and the rest.
X
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X
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you wrote words that i felt but couldnt find them they were lost in heartache,
thank you for finding my voice, awesome POEM your style is so unique , i am blessed,
to read your work, I am not saying that i could write something as spectacular as this,
I am say i was at a lost for words then YOU! wrote them.
with respect always
Rend
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I'm so pleased you found it this way.
Thank you so much Rend
Sol
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pure. it is the one word that came to mind after reading your poem. Love, Lane
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Thank you
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