I Am Not Sporty.

So...

I’m not exactly great at running
Or hitting balls with a metal bat.
I cannot swim a single lap
In less than ten minutes flat.

My aim is more than a bit iffy
When I throw the ball to you.
And when I swing a racquet, well,
I miss the return by inches few.

In volleyball, it’ depressing
How accurately I set for the floor.
Even in ping pong, the balls I smack
End up in someone else’s court.

There’s no way I’d get to Wimbledon
The Super Bowl, or World Series.
The Olympics are definitely out for me,
Without some miraculous theories.

It didn’t used to be this way,
Before the unspeakable “accident”,
(Which really is not just an excuse,
No matter the objections strident!)

I used to be the very greatest
Of all the striving athletes.
My life came crashing down one day
When I developed my flat feets.

It ruined my aim, my game!
Nothing was ever again the same!

So coach, you see, teacher dear,
I’m sure you will agree when you see
It’s just too upsetting of a thought
For me to participate in P.E.

~From the Adventures of Sean G. Mawry~