Damn it

Damn it,
I did it again
I thought I was done
I said "no" the first time
But couldnt resist the second.
I felt I needed it,
Maybe even deserved it.
I got high again,
I cut again,
And i'm back with ana and mia
Nothing too serious,
But nothing I should really be doing.
I tried to quit
But I fell back down
Is it worth trying to fix myself
When I dont believe i can actually change
Noone really believes i've changed
I really had,
But mom not believing in me
Made me not believe in me either
Other people think i'm the same as i always was
I've changed somewhat but not completely
I'm doing alot better
Atleast i'm resisting now
I dont do all of the things all of the time
Like I use to
But i did change
Still trying
But we all relaps
And noone really understands that
So its really hard to convience people that i have
Damn it
I know many people who are in the same situation
And they get the understanding they deserve
Why the fuck am i different.