I can easily tell you've become quite apprehensive
contentious questioning
of my whereabouts
& the pristine mishaps I've encountered
when you never cared to be around;
but it's not my fault you've been hesitating
& selfishly putting me on a pedestal
instead of leading me straight into your arms
[what did you expect]
I'm already tripping over the dishonesty
you penetrate me with
breathing in your poisonous caress
as it seeps throughout my veins
& targets my knowledge
of retrieving right from wrong
but baby,
I'm tired of painting our future
in my reasonless imagination
when you figure me into your mind
as nothing more but a crutch
for your seclusion & adequacy
your heart was never there.
time deceased with the hour glass
as did we
while the sand scattered to the bottom
& our hearts unlatched
cluttering beneath my skin
& deepening this unconditional sorrow
etching you permanently
into the grained & torn notebook
beckoning the infatuation
I was afraid to admit to
now I'm distinguished by only a defensive smile
using every functional muscle
to prove to you I'm okay
when really
I spend my nights rearranging my thoughts
& tucking them into drawers
only applicable
when I slip away into reckless dreams
where your lips brush against my neck
& effuse throughout my body;
containing an envelope of temperance
as it staples to my barely occluded heart
all I have strength to do
is pretend that closure is overrated
& acceptance is only a virtue
though my stomach churns
when my mind wanders into your hands
& perceptive nauseousness
trembles up & down
my broadened yet achromic throat
a part of my existence
will be blockaded to you
releasing the pain in my words
& contaminating my breath;
no longer am I your source
when you need to feel appreciated.
if you want me in your tainted life
you'll have to collect the durability
to place me there.
♥
Gold trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
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