He creeped around in my shadow
and came, one day, unnoticed,
into the light. There, like crystal
he spun before me and
he shined a world of color before
my eyes. Blue, purple, yellow,
and green. My favorite.
I saw the world wake up around me.
I did not even notice when he
pushed my soul
aside. His power made a home.
Artificiality, lies, apologies.
Colors, one by one, faded
to black. Now he dangles, dead
before me. Like the deepest and
most dishonest of loves
gone wrong.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The more that we open our heart to another, the greater we open ourselves to the risk of being hurt and having to endure pain. But from pain we can learn, learn that our future does not have to be filled with pain, if only we have the confidence within ourselves to act.
I have really enjoyed this poem for it tells of your endurance of his lies and the pain he was the cause of for you.
I would suggest that you try to make each line a complete statement, as I found that on several occassions you carried the sentence into the following line. If you can do that I feel sure that it will make the poem stronger and more effective.
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You have painted the depth of your love and the truth of your life as well..a touching and true scenario is painted by the sentiments..well done..
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