The road to war to home again
I thought I was only sleeping
the road to war to home again.
Through the ages Angels pleading
feel my voyager ready
I thought I was only sleeping.
Awakened and facing my fate
to remember it is my blood
Feel my voyager ready.
How can this be?. Thoughts about God
marching toward a deadly greeting
to remember it is my blood.
Hard to kill as a believer
hard to die or become steady
marching toward a deadly greeting.
I wish I was out of body
The road to war to home again
How to die or become deadly
The road to war to home again!
Author notes
Forgive...for I have tried.
wolf
A contest entry
- War Poems- Terzanelle Form #2 by kendhal22.
500 points, ended September 13, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Congrats on the bronze!!
I think you did more than try! This is excellent, far better than any form I have ever attempted
Neat theme and a fab read 
Congrats on the bronze!
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Excellent
This poem fits the form well and evokes a sense of journey. I have been studied several Civil War battles, and when you go beyond the grand scheme, each comes down to the personal journeys of individual soldiers through the fire into the aftermath. You summed up those thoughts in a very touching way.
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A valiant attempt it was too, and far better than I could ever do; fair play to you for trying it out, seriously, I think that the complexicity of this would be far beyond my talents!
Best of luck in the contest =) -
really gets you into the depths of the thought process of the warrior. i think if i were going into battle, id be thinking these things too.
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Nice
This is a very good poem. I liked the flow in this one. It didn't seem force and the lines read very smooth. Thank u for coming to my contest. Kendhal22
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Thank You...
Sorry for the late response. I of very grateful for the trophy and points. But, even more so the fact that you liked the poem (first attempt). I have recently been working more with this form.
I really enjoy it.
Thank you again my friend!!
wolf
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Well written piece and the word flow was very impressive. I didn't fully get into the heart of this one though, it seemed kind of personal.
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I absolutly love the repetition of this and the assonance, fanstastically written and i can hear it as very good lyrics!
simple language, which is a plus for this poem, but deep images and ideas which is a major plus, just the way its done- fantastic!
well done!
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I think it's very good! I liked the line "Thoughts about God/marching towards a deadly greeting/to remember it is my blood". My only suggestion would be that maybe the repetition of "the road to war to home again" so close together is a little bit awkward. Maybe cut some of the repetition out so it flows better. But overall, great job!
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I really enjoyed reading this well put together verse. You have kept the reader in your grip until the end. A superb attempt at something I baulked at. Cheers Tws...
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I really liked this poem!! wow! Its a dream, its reality or is it a reality we all wish was a dream!! great write got my mind thinking this morning!
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I like this better than the beast eating poems
tho it's a very happy poem....
I think its a wonderful write.
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