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Park Bench

alone with
moments
about to strike a sound
I cannot bear to wait

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • righteousme
    January 30

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    solitude. or lack there of . ... i can not tell which ... however this short piece was a good read. ...


  • jayyniecakes.
    January 24

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    I liked it but

    what is this about? why is it called park bench?

    i like the way you weaved the words to make this poem, but if I were you I would lengthen it considerably. :]]


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    November 25, 2008

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    this is such a great write. i loved the first two lines "alone with moments", it stirred all kind of feelings up. Well done.


  • leander Moderators member
    October 25, 2008

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    Well this is very short what you have entered here. And somehow, I can so relate to what you have painted here.

    Damn, if it all would be easier at times... One wouldn't have to think much about emotional crap and whatever.

    Shoving this to preliminary!
    Leander


  • MissErinMichelle
    October 24, 2008
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    ****

    Simple and sweet. I can see it in my head.
    It's difficult to take something and create a picture with so few words.
    brilliant

    have a good one.......Erin


  • JinSays gold member
    September 8, 2008
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    This is the second time today I've come across something that reminded me of Pound, Lowell, and the whole symbolist movement. William Carlos Williams is reaching out from the beyond, trying to get me to read him.
    I absolutely love the last stanza.
    Perfect rhythm.
    Thank you,
    jin

1 - 6 of 6