The flowers they turn back into pods
the river runs back into rain
the sun sinks into heavens deep
the rhythm beats steady but my hearts not in tune
the stars fade together but one outshines the rest
love could take forever but waiting is the test
A contest entry
- Bang Bang, my baby shot me down... by Sick Sunshine.
400 points, ended November 10, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How does this poem make you feel? can you relate to it in some way?
Comments
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"the rhythm beats steady but my hearts not in tune"
I love that line. This poem is so elegant and controlled
takes my mind where it is meant to go. very powerful for a short poem. point made. Makes me feel sad..because it's the images of him I see over and over in my head, I can relate. -
Bravo
Loved this.. absolutely loved it.
Really stirred emotion in me, very touching.
db x
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I love your rich imagery in the poem but your last line reached into me and gave my heart a tight squeeze
"love could take forever but waiting is the test"
Omg!! You worded it so beautifully! I love your poem.. it kinda gives me the light, ethereal feeling...
(Actually, I'm in a fantastic mood right now so I'm not reading any sad/painful vibes off the poem..but I think if I'm having one of my down, it'll speak even more to me. Anyhow, you still touched me tho my mood is all wrong (in a paradoxical way yeah.lol)
Beautiful poem
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Love is painful. You are telling the readeer that. You used some nice imagry. Iliked the last line. return the favor?
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