Who are you to judge me, are you god or are you man ?
Do you live on egos mountain, then judge me if you can.
Delusion of false grandeur, pure arrogance of self,
yet am I just deluded, am I arrogance myself ?
My mind becomes my signature of self appointed pride,
in a drawing of etched vanity, my confidence denied.
Your words betray the truth inside, the man behind the mask,
with a string of accusations, yet this question I still ask,
in honesty of selflessness, pure assurity we see,
but which one is false prophet, is it you or is it me ?
Author notes
This is in no way intended to be personal.
A contest entry
- Because You Want To Be Challenged, Right? by HagarenHanyou.
900 points, ended October 16, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Touche'
Nice verbal fencing around the old question: If we disagree, who's the prophet and who's pretentious?
Good luck in the contest!
-
That's nice.
Because I in no way intended to take it personally.
The rhyme isn't terrible, as it serves its purpose in enriching the poem's atmosphere, but it wanes in that purpose near the end. Questions are generally weak in poetry, and you want to avoid asking "philisophical" questions, as the tend to fall into cliche territory. I didn't like the repetition of arrogance and self in the third and fourth line, and the in third line, false granduer would be an illusion, so it's just redundant.
Moreso, though, I just don't personally like the poem. Sorry. -
AMAZING
I like the questioning of some higher entity here (personal or not). It flows nicely as well. I'd pick a favorite line but I like the whole thing. it's so...wonderful
Good Luck
SatuRn -
Great piece!
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