Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Double Sandburger with Cheese, extra fries, and a diet coke

 

 

I remember as if it was last heartbeat

 

the day I hitched up my skirt above my knees

and put beans in my ears

had my hair cut like the skanks had it

and poured molasses on the cat

 

mom just didn’t get it

 

I figured wisdom was factored in

with the slight increase in my curves

and other (you know) lady-stuff

 

so here I am

 

all that lady-stuff is about to run out

I have the shortest skirts

and stickiest cat in our neighborhood

my hair grows old disgracefully

 

and oh yes

you’ll have to shout

 

I can’t hear for all these beans

 

 

 

Author notes

Hi Alix.

I'm Marie. I'm 51 years old, and I'm from Scotland, and know exactly how you feel. Been there, bought the damn t-shirt!

I would like to ask you a great favor. Would you review the first part of my novel? I am writing it for people maybe a little older than you, but I think you can handle that. I have taken so long over it that my original reviewer (in Australia) outgrew it! It is set in Britain - which is very different from Nevada - and I wrote it because I was sick and tired of everyone raving about "Harry Potter" books (the author of which lives about 20 miles from me, is younger and better looking than I am, and is now very, very rich! Grrrr!). I think you could handle the British setting too.

Best wishes,
M


PS - I guess in order to be able to understand my poem, you have to able to understand this one by Carl Sandburg:


Why did the children
put beans in their ears
when the one thing we told the children
they must not do
was put beans in their ears?

Why did the children
pour molasses on the cat
when the one thing we told the children
they must not do
was pour molasses on the cat?

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Tirrell
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    lol, this is a very intreaging poem it sort of jousted me from my melancholey today, BTW Your not that old.


  • nevadapoet
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    how cute...I guess I'll just have to keep doing it my way and hope I can get the molasses off the cat when my mom yells at me.
    I would love to read your book, where do I find it?
    Alix...daughter of Nevadapoet

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      September 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, I am still completing parts two and three (I have been unwell, and things kept getting in my way), but I can easily send you part one, if mom will allow me to and will let me have her email. Part one can be read as a "novella" in its own right - it's a complete story.

      Anyhow, I'm glad you liked the poem.


  • Emerald Dog
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Never a week goes by on AP without it giving birth to at least one wonderful poem. This week is not going to be an exception. First degree brilliance.


  • Mirthryl
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the title (don't we always think that diet coke will somehow make up for the extra fries and cheese?) and the incorporation of Sandburg's name.

    Delightful description of the unfolding of adolescence, the correct sense that things are no longer as they were. Many childhood rules are now passe or only suggestions. More choices, with a touch of an underlying sense of invulnerability. We are now big enough to reach those apples!

    Loved the "lady-stuff" and the time warp to "about to run out."

    Very funny description of the stubborn streak some of us carry to extremes. To remove the beans might imply that I made a mistake, or thought better of it. Nah, I'm big enough to live with my choices!

    I thoroughly enjoyed this!

  • ea silver member
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    haha, this is great Mairi - love the Sandburg - don't think I've seen it before and love the idea of asking Alix to review your novel. Good luck with it!


  • Amera gold member
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So you always have been a rebel! It seems like nothing has changed. I really can relate to this poem as it is so well presented.
    “I figured wisdom was factored in
    with the slight increase in my curves”
    So true, I think this poem is a bit more simple than your usual style and I think it’s wonderful written this way because the depth of thought is still there.

    Love,
    Amera♥

  • chordphrute
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well I for one know this is absolutely NOT your day-to-day voice, and because you can fabricate a voice that is so clearly not your own and yet so amazing.... I give ya two thumbs up, kiddo...

    love
    me

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      September 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      "kiddo"?

      {chuckling} well, I don't know so much... if I had a cat it would be pretty sticky by now, and I do have beans in my ears.

      mmmmmmm


  • luvfamilyluv
    September 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    loved this one, still giggling...

  • Bad Bill
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "mom just didn't get it." I'm not sure I did either, but I love the concluding section of the poem.

    Bill

1 - 18 of 18