i read through
the old emails,
from the times
when things were easier.
or maybe i've been
blinded by emotions.
you always said
i was abstract,
like a glass cup.
refresh, refresh.
i don't want to miss
the message you're sending.
it arrives ten minutes later.
i reply right away,
but you don't.
cause you know,
that's cool.
your walls were plastered with
posters, bulletins, whatever.
at my place, you
were the only other
living thing.
Author notes
it was inspired by David Gray. he helped me find my words.
and this person. i can't say the name.
"let go of your heart, let go of your head.."
A contest entry
- .slave to detail. by girl shaman.
500 points, ended September 27, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I like this. I am a lot older than you, but I know this feeling! It doesn't change much.
You are a good poet!
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Excellent. You are a fine young writer. Good luck!
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cool
i read through
the old emails,
from the times
when things were easier.
this reminds me of me I reread everything my boyfriend ever sent me.
This is a great piece -
A beautiful piece you have here!!
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a nice write you have inked here...i like it, 'cause it looks like nothin' I've read before...thanks for sharing...Shalom
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Yo... This is a clever piece... Just your words describing the emails and so on are exellent...
"refresh, refresh."
"i reply right away,
but you don't.
cause you know,
that's cool."
Probably my favourite lines... Great work
Keep Writing
Ditt0
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Interesting title because one can see through the emotions quite clearly.
Typical of first love teens the world over yet neatly expressed apart from some of the basic spelling errors.
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Despite your tender years one would have thought that I would be capitalised.
In case you are in doubt "i" within literature does not exist, it is always "I" -
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It doesn't exist in correct English. However, the use of i is a legitimate poetic device, when used to show the vulnerability of the narrator. Or to downplay the importantance of the narrator. As in: "I am nothing".
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i no how u feel here, sorta, some parts are confusing to me, but thats me . that thng about refreshing for a message, i laughed because i no i do that constintly every day . this poem is probally really relatable for kids our age (i'm 13 also) so great write.
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