WElcome, readers , to my page. Enjoy your stay and feel free to wander about amongst the items offered. Herewith lie the poetic records of my life's experiences and observations, some bent a little by the forces of imagination, loss of memory and inevitably the depredations to the mind brought about by the overindulgece in imbibing that most delightful of anaesthetic drinks;whisky.
Please enjoy my ramblings, as i try to take you with me where I think I might have been, share with you the feelings I probably should have had, and show the wondrous scenery I describe with blatant lies and deceipt.
I claim to be retired but if the truth were known, I am just tired; tired of the political corruption, the continual wars and killings, the willingness of big business to lie, cheat and steal to make a profit, the hot dry summers and this damn dandruff I can't get rid of.
I have so many hobbies that I do nothing at all, i guess you could say I was biding my time.
When last seen I was unshaven , in need of a shower and some clean clothes.
I am a one eyed poet with lots of space where comments could be.
My mood is relaxed - damn it all, there is aalways tomorrow.
I was shouted gold membership on Ap so I guess I support it.
I'm too tired to help out with anything
I'm in groups because it seems fashionable
I have some comments, may get some more when I get around to posting something new.
MY POETRY
Damn, I knew there was something I had to do.
A contest entry
- MORE Fake Author Page Profiles and Silly Spoofing done in FUN... not poems by Melodies.
700 points, ended September 11, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments please
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I love this, Bob! Especially 'in need of a shower and some clean clothes' because I stayed out all night and snuck home feeling exactly like that. As for your poetry, something you forgot about - well, I know that's not you, so now I'm happy this is a fake profile.
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It is indeed a fake profile. I was challenged to write it for a contest. It didn't get anywhere but gave me a few chuckles writing it. Your comment has boosted my ego a little and for that I can only say thank you from my heart.
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That is sooo funny!!! Oh boy I got a real giggle out of that!! Fantastic spoof!! hehe
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I was challenged to write this so gave it a go. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I had fun writing it.
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Thank you for writing this. I found in genuinely good humored and amusing. I laughed out loud at one point, which is not easy to do.
You're very talented. -
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I meant "It made me laugh out loud at one point which is not easy to do."
It IS easy to laugh out loud. Heh. -
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Thank you for having a laugh, it is a spoof. I guess that means I can write a bit of good stuff now and then. Glad you enjoyed it.Sorry I'm a bit slow replying but its shopping day and our shops are 40 Km away.
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Love this laid-back fake author!
If I were to be invited, I would be this fake author's fake sister and I would laugh with him because I can tell that he has a good streak of humour. Love that last line about the poetry. 
AND being too tired to help out with anything.
YAY!
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Hi Melodies, You have just made my day and I thank you so much. I was challenged to write this and enter the contest or I would never have done it. It gives me a great deal of pleasure to know that it gives a chuckle to those who read it.
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"MY POETRY
Damn, I knew there was something I had to do. "
LOL; i laughed aloud at this - and had people in the office looking at me funny ... because i was laughing at the 'spreadsheet' i had open on the computer.
Nice job on this; great ending! -
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I was conned into writing this by a friend on the site. So I made it a real spoof. I am actually quite thrilled that you got a good laugh from it. Made it worth the writing. Thank you for making my day complete.
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Hey Bob
Nice set up. I do wish you luck for it is much harder for us older guys to gett attention here on AP. Sadly we do not fit into the ever unfolding episodes of... Love Nest. lol But you have my attention.
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Yes Bob, it is harder for us oldies to gain attention on the site. I guess we've been there and done that and romance does not play a big part in our lives any more. We are supposed to stay quietly in the background and let the young ones make the same mistakes we made, and complain about the consequences. I am pleased that I have your attention and your comments. Thank you, kind sir.
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Oh my, this amount of creative guile made me smile! Loved the " try to take you where I think I've been" that quantifies the mercy missions, submissions and flights of fantasy that didn't happen when they did back in 2007 when we thought you were an angel abroad being hands on with those poor souls in need but in fact you were at ap 18 hours a day contemplating the dryness of dandruff, general stuff and belly button fluff No wonder your mood isn't hipocritical or in depth and analytical but relaxed and cavalier, yes there's always tomorrow to contemplate another's sorrow or not, for you may remember what you have seriously remembered you have forgot, so put the barby on and break out the whiskey and beer!
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I think this little epistle is spoof enough. I enjoyed your comment re 'creative guile' ;try to take you where i think I've been. I had a smile or two myself.I just loved your final sally; "put the barby on and break out the whisky and beer" If it wasn't so cold and miserable outside I would do just that.
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I thoroughly enjoyed your little epistle and is proof of the power of your great spoof that I laughed out loud and raised four walls and the roof
Am glad you liked my final sally, save the iced-cold beer and outside cheer for another day instead with better weather
And prepare a space on the mantleshelf, methinks this is trophy worthy.
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The ice cold beer and the barby will hit the spot admirably, but only when this cold weather has departed for distant shores, and the warmth of spring is here once more.
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Oh, Bob. This sounds oh so much not like you, but then again, i don't know you that well, do i? I thought the write was great and had a powerful force behind the words, as if you were somewhat angry. You did a great job and i enjoyed reading it. You have a great sense of humour. What can i say except, a damned good job!
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One of my online friends challenged me to enter in that contest, Author Page Spoof, so I wrote this piece. Its not like me at all, I think about what I write and am honest with my readers. This was purely a spoof. Anger was there too, at the pollies, big business and the war mongers. It's a bit of a mix, isn't it? Thanks for your kind words, I wonder whether I have earned them.
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