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tattoo


Smudges of cardiac proportions,
leaving things left unsaid.
You give me such a bad taste in my mouth
[my soul, my emotional state]

Nevertheless, I still desire your warmth.
In expectation of how you speak to me
and impressing Kodak [oh so photogenic].

Engage in making memories,
permanent ink placing your name

on my neck.

As much as my heart yearns
for your sweet serenity,
reality isn't in favor
of my hopes and dreams.
Waking up to the truth
that you aren't real.

 

 

Author notes

Prompt - 77. Tattoo

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really soft, lovely poem. Congratulations on your bronze win for it. Unfortunately this contest is for honorable mention winning poems only, so I cannot consider it in the judging. Thank you.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Metaphorist
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well done. Love the parts in brackets. I think you could have played with the structure even more. But a solid piece. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    As much as my heart yearns
    for your sweet serenity,
    reality isn't in favor
    of my hopes and dreams.
    Waking up to the truth
    that you aren't real.

    everyone feels this at times! Great write! Thank you for entering the contest and good luck!


  • ea silver member
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmmm, must be a drag to wake up to a tattoo commemorating something that didn't last.


  • movedon
    September 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow
    A lot of strong images in this poem. Great job with this one.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • innocence jaded.xx
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is incredible. I loved every word. I love how you expressed this & your use of words were brilliant. I especially loved:

    -Engage in making memories,
    permanent ink placing your name

    on my neck.
    ...

    You put me in awe ♥


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      September 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for the comments.

      They mean more to me than you probably realize


  • Little Miss Mental
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know how this tune goes...wanting to love someone when they won't love you back. Saying they care about you as a friend, but they never call or pick up when you call...it hurts more than a burn, or the severing of an arm. "Nevertheless I still desire your warmth". Absolutley beautiful...best of luck LP! ♥Rhi


  • ThinkExXist Tonight
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Truthful =/

    This reminds me so much of something I am dealing with at the moment. There is someone who means a lot to me, and this person specifically told me to keep in touch with him. (No, it's not a boyfriend or anything. Just a friend). And after countless failed attempts to stay in touch, I am now realizing that he could care less about me. It hurts, especially after he spent all this time telling me how big of an impact I have had on him, and blah blah blah blah. All this junk. It's all so meaningless now and that hurts me, unbelievably. "As much as my heart yearns
    for your sweet serenity,
    reality isn't in favor
    of my hopes and dreams.
    Waking up to the truth
    that you aren't real."
    Those lines right there are so expressive of how I feel right now.

    "Engage in making memories,
    permanent ink placing your name"

    Precisely how I feel. It's so frustrating how can talk the talk but can't walk the walk.
    So I'm just going to continue to thrive on memories
    And try to keep them alive within me.
    This was superb. Especially since it perfectly captures how I feel.

    I need some of my soul
    -/


  • penman gold member
    September 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Such a creative and well crafted poem. So very well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 10 of 10