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excuse me while i repeat mistakes

 

Be aware as I blend my jambalaya
of pretty words and bad intentions.
Car crash entropy, giving me a new name.
Nothing says "I love you" like a dagger to the spine.

Is this deja vu to you?
I'm not a stranger to controversy
and I have brought fear to them.
Like a nerve hold they can't shake,
my claim to fame is being a fake.

Don't you know by now?

My tricks of the trade
I have set to repeat.
Blended with some thrills
and prizes of all sizes
[These aren't the kind you want to give little Johnny]

Excuse me, if you don't mind
but I'm on a schedule.
This shouldn't last long,
just hold still.

 

Author notes

Prompt - 8. Excuse Me While I Repeat Mistakes

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • SchizoChic
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great job done here on this little piece. I applaud the imagery you get while reading it. It too reminds me of myself a little.. Best of luck.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm, this somewhat reminds me of myself. Always trying to please people, always making the wrong decisons, never realising what I've done until it's too late. It's my signature moves really, I think.


  • TabbyCat
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really clever. What a great take on the title prompt. Good luck in the contest. I agree with Aanika...the last four lines are killer!


  • aanika
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooh, the last four lines in this are WONDERFUL.
    I also love the take on the prompt.
    good luck!


  • movedon
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mmmmm line 4 is amazing. I dont think I've ever known love that hasnt consisted of a knife in the back...which makes me a stronger person. Lovely!

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • etoile
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is amazing!

    'Nothing says "I love you" like a dagger to the spine.'
    ---
    i loved that line. it was beautifully written. and so true.
    i really like where you took the title

    best of luck in the contest


  • Silly Rabbit.
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful. I love the strength I found within its words.

    Thanks for sharing. Keep up the great work and good luck with your contest =]

    [[♥]]


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That was absolutely amazing. You did such a fantastic job with the prompt. I loved it. Incredible. I can't say it enough. Awesome.
    Write on!!
    ~*~SP~*~


  • penman gold member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Oh my what a clever and inventive choice of words. So perfect for the prompt. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 9 of 9