I want to walk
where city streets
become weightless:
The King Fisher’s darting call
erases penthouse possessions
and valueless dreams.
Sidewalks
that had seemed littered with gold
and red light districts
slowly float on by.
Such is the way
of autumn currency,
replaying memories,
reflections of pristine skies,
traces along the bank
in the reeds
where we once bathed;
if only
I could have foreseen
the permanence
of concrete pathways
or the price of goodbye.
Author notes
prompt: the river bank
Image credit:
www.alixwhopkins.com/qna.html
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From September 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2100 points, ended February 6, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
really strong I like it
-
Wonderful Write!!
Your words are so true in so many areas of the country. I go back to my old neighborhood where I played in streams and now there are shopping centers. So sad. Thank you for sharing this very nice poem with stuning imagery. Take care.
Sandy
-
aww I forgot the clappy people!!!
-
So sad yet beautiful, the end is what got me, and the background is awesome. I really liked this, amazing job!
Blessings,
~Michaela~ -
Oh my, this is such a sad piece with beautiful imagery. Your metaphors are just lovely.
Hind sight..hmmmm....if only...
Really enjoyed reading your entry for this challenge!
Jazzy
-
this is the case of a poem being made much stronger by the supporting images. Sometimes images can take away from the meaning but the top image and background picture really help to create a further picture for the reader. The beginning of the poem really creates this feeling for me that i want to be there experiencing it too...makes me long for quieter days, no busy traffic and a beautiful walk through the park. Great work on this poem. :-)
-
This is such a wonderfully created poem from the prompt. And as much as I love the picture, I think it's the background that really brings your words to life.
-
I love this...
Sigh~
the ending has such a haunting sound with a beautiful background image to support the feel....Awesome
Lynda
-
So much hidden meaning in the last two lines. The poem is filled with beautiful imagery, but it is the ending that makes the reader think about the price of progress. I can't help but be reminded of Joni Mitchell's song (covered by the Counting Crows) "Big Yellow Taxi". As in that song your poem tells us that sometimes we have to lose something valuable before we appreciate its true worth. Peace, Liz
-
If only...Hindsight is always 20/20 *sigh*
I loved the phrase: "Such is the way of autumn currency"
Oh that just says so much, holds maturity and knowledge, yet spends. Spends time, spends heart, spends soul.
Excellent.
And the Kingfisher - 
A welcome addition. ~Pamela 
-
very deep thoughts of lamenting here with an underlying sadness, wonderful phrasing.
-
ooh this is wonderful work. Great depth great imagery for the mind, and ooh it left me so very sad at the end.
Thanks for making me feel.
Warm thoughts.
Frozentearz
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
