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Prescience

Missing image

 

 

 

He gave a 90 day guarantee

on the paths of hurricanes

and points of strike for lightning.

 

Cheating the odds,

he promised pre-distaster relief

and instantaneous recovery.

 

But nobody is above the weather

and lukewarm water leads

to a rather rude awakening:

 

tragically flawed, predictions are pointless

and prophecies are riptides for disappointment -

he'll never be able to forecast me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Jessica,

Congratulations!!! You are an amazing and beautiful person and you have earned your place in the world! I know you will go far and succeed at whatever you wish to accomplish.

 

Much Love,

Your Sister

Allie

 

I used the following titles in my poem and as my prompt:

90 Day Guarantee

Cheating the Odds

Above the Weather

Lukewarm

Riptides

Tragic Flaw

 

I hope you like this - as it should really appeal to you on a number of levels right now. LOL. Okay, category 4 hurricanes are nothing to laugh about, but you have to admit it was quite cunning.

 

Stay safe hon! Love ya!

 

 

image of Hurricane Bonnie (I chose this because it's my grandmother's name) from:

http://weathersavvy.com/Q-Hurricanes_Typhoons.html

A contest entry

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Sesheta
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Shiny way to talk about massive weather stuff. Sorry not so articulate, tired and yada ya. Your poetry always rocks.


  • usefuldistraction
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    Love the very sharp quill, and the way you have brought this to apersonal level in your close. Another terrific write!


  • Metaphorist
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You forgot to highlight "rude awakening" as one of the phrases you borrowed from me. Very cleverly done. I seem to like writing quite a few of weather-related poems huh? (See the last two I posted the other day too! Haha.) Superb as always. Glad to see you writing a lot more new stuff too Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Pisces Pieces
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Intensity is what comes to mind. I love the last line.."you'll never be able to forcast me"...that's awesome! Some people think they have it all figured out and can map the path and outcomes...it's just not so...we're not so predictable

    ♥


  • CaliOkie silver member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    By the way, how is Hanna treating you?

    This is wonderful. Such an excellent metaphor. Your style has become so confident lately -- your work seems so sure of itself. Excellent.

    Garrison


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      September 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I don't think we even got a half an inch of rain from her! By 1 pm today we had blue skies! So just fine. My grandparents haven't gone down to check their beach house at North Myrtle Beach - but I have a feeling it's fine.

      Thank you I really appreciate your kinds words.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    True of what is spoken, however it appears
    you must have been talking to a politician
    about these matters? For assuring the paths of
    hurricanes is as futile as assuring people
    of more jobs and I am buying Jessica a seeing eye Weiner dog!

    Dad


  • mehimdumb
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great way to find inspiration for a poem I never would have thought of that. You are very gifted with your use of metaphors =)

    ~ Socky


  • notorious gold member
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Not sure if I can re-give you applause if I deleted my former comment... LoL

    That's it, I'm going by my last name...
    LoL

    I love the way you managed to work in all those bolded inspirations and make it seem like you planned it all along anyways.

    I love the title & the pre- preceding it.

    That last stanza is my favorite...Cassandra anyone?


    Jessica


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      September 6, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      LOL... it's the thought that counts anyway!!!!

      I didn't actually think of Cassandra when I wrote that - but you're right.

      Some last names are awesome...

      Still... I like calling you Phantasy ... and muse


      • notorious gold member
        September 6, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        LoL my last name is 'Poon'...as in Spoon, or 'poo', if you're three-years-old.
        LMAO
        You can't call me Phantasy, you know me too well!


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Allie
    Metaphorically speaking, this is splendid
    I have trouble writing metaphorically, but you made it seem so easy. I love the final verse...

    "tragically flawed, predictions are pointless
    and prophecies are riptides for disappointment -
    he'll never be able to forecast me.

    It seems to show the following...
    Don't judge me unless you have walked in my shoes. Perhaps I am wrong, but this strong message is what I feel.

    Using titlesto help show emotions
    Oh my word, you are so clever.

    I am sure that Jessica will love this piece as much and more than I do and I think it is brilliant at all levels.

    Take care,
    Much love
    David


  • HereComesTheSun
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem becuase it is political in my mind but not in your face yes still holds a strong point
    love it

1 - 13 of 13