Lies pour from our mouths like smoke
Over dramatic expressions of affection
Venting out my anger on my skin, unfaithfulness
Exit wounds from your piercing eyes
Monotone as you engage me in a kiss
Entwined fingers, we walk hand in hand
Twisted form of perfection
One too many plans blown off
Dancing under the dirty sheets
Eternal sadness takes over my soul
All hope is lost as I slowly fade away
Taste the bitterness in our brutal romance
Happiness wont prevail this time
A contest entry
- Gimme some luv by unavailable.
600 points, ended September 18, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Wish Is My Command (LOL) by fairytalelovestory.
350 points, ended September 15, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE ME DEAD by TwoFacedPsycho.
450 points, ended October 4, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
acrostic lol
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Exit wounds from your piercing eyes - That line is genius.
"Lies pour from our mouths like smoke
Over dramatic expressions of affection" I love this part, expresses perfectly one of the problems I've had with my girlfriend - we expressed our affections in too dramatic a manner too soon...but at least when now when I use the 'L word' with her, I mean it =] But to say we moved too fast would be wrong I think...we definately moved faster and delved deeper than is usual, and it's created problems, but we've worked through them. Basically what I'm trying to express is that moving too fast shouldn't be decided in terms of how long its taken you to get from point A to B, rather whether you were both ready and can handle the pressure...if you can, then you moved at just the right pace ^^
Either way, that's far too much about me lol, this is a really good write, with some very insightful and original ideas =] -
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thank you very much, yea i can totally relate. aww its good tht u love her! lol cute.
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Foreboding! Me likey!
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lol ty
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hmmm… although this is well written, I don’t see love in this, it sounds a little scary.
much love
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lol thanks its suppsd to be the twisted kinda love
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wow
wpw this is a brilliant poem well done, so much emotion and an incredible way of using your words, well done, its really a very good piece of writing.
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thanks
im glad u liked it
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This is really good, I like the ioagery and feel of this piece especially this:
Monotone as you engage me in a kiss
Entwined fingers, we walk hand in hand
nicely done.
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thank you, those are my fav too
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wow this was a greatacrostic hon i like this this is one of my favorite forms of writting great job i like it
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thanks babe glad u liked it! acrostics are one of my favs too
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