A Love Story with the most hopeful beginning…
Timeless Love is born out of youthful passion and made enduring only through years of toil, heartache and joy. It is a sensitive balance between softly, whispered tenderness and steely, steadfast resolve. It is quiet and unassuming, and yet, unquestionably strong and forceful. It is a love that cannot be denied by any man or nations of men for it is merited through determination wrought by the soul.
Timeless Love is steady and sure and will not waiver even in the most tumultuous of waters. It is not perfect nor does it strive to be so. It is accepting of one’s own vulnerability at the expense of exposing the very essence of being. It does not judge; for it gives and receives forgiveness with humility and compassion, nor does it keep a tally of errors, but rather collects gems for a future crown.
Timeless Love is victory personified by the mere touch of a hand, a shared glance or an understanding sigh. It is a celebration of the history of two entwining hearts with each new page bringing triumph over an ever-changing world. This is the truest of love, once fueled by fire and now, with its still glowing embers, will forever serve as a beacon for all who strive to embrace the deepest of emotions.
A Love Story that only through the grace of God will have no ending…
A contest entry
- Final Option - Finalist - Open to all by Florida Sunshine.
1150 points, ended September 7, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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My official review of your poem in the contest. Because this is a 'final' contest, I am feel I should be as strict as I can be in looking over every aspect of the poetry presented. I have never claimed to be an expert in any of the categories, however I have been learning a great deal over the last few months. Not only did I want to challenge you [the poet] but myself as a judge.
Below I've made the ruling/score in regards to the points. If you disagree with any of my reasoning please 'reply' to the comment made – with “Challenge” and explain where you feel my assessment is wrong, if I agree with your argument I will change the score. I'm never to proud to admit when I'm wrong. If I feel I am still correct I will bring in a 2nd judge to make the final decision to a change. This final judge will be through my grammar group.
Your Scores:
Finalist -- 0/10 points - I'm so happy to see you've taken the challenge to jump into the final round of the option contest.
Use of Prompt - 20/25 Points – Timeless – Love is timeless when it's really love. Nice job!
Poetic Form – 20/20 points – This is regards to the actual structure of the poem. It appeared to me you have written 'Free Verse' style write. I have learned to properly execute this form you must use your words to 'impact' the reader. You've come using a storytelling style to your poem gives it a unique feel.
Use of Grammar - 10/10 Points – Your poem is well written, there is only one helpful suggestion I could give you regarding your poem overall is the multiple 'ands.' Though yes, you can write the sentence if it normally goes together such as 'I had peanut butter and jelly and chips for lunch.' Peanut butter and jelly normally go hand in hand, therefore it would not be a run-on sentence. You've used this style a couple of times where you might want to try separating the line or the use of commas instead. I did not take off for this because it 'is' correct, but I did want to make you aware it might be a bit better if trimmed down.
Spelling - 10/10 points - Perfect!
Overall Presentation 20/25 points – The background and fonts are simplistic with the plain blue background and black font. It allows the poetry to speak for itself.
Your total score is 80
I do appreciate your participation. It was a welcome pleasure to read and review your work. I think you did a terrific job!
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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