I'm Sorry

I still hear your heart beat
Beating in my head.
I still feel your presence
While im lying in my bed.

You ask me how could I,
I tell you I don’t know.
What did I do that day
I agreed to let you go?

There are no words to tell
Just how sorry I feel.
There are not enough tears
To make me realize it’s real.

I hold onto the memory of you
Although it was so brief.
I play out the thought of you
In hopes to avoid my grief.

Nothing I can do will take my
Actions of that day.
No medicine will make that
Pain go away.

You will never understand
Why I did what I had to do.
All you’ll ever know is that
I’m your mommy and I betrayed you.

I want you to know that
I did what I felt was best.
I did what I thought was right
In the ultimate test.

Though I miss you now,
And wish you still grew.
At the time I was so sure
I thought I knew.

I cry for you through
Most of my nights.
The sound of your heart beat
My mind constantly fights.

I am so sorry I didn’t do
What a mother should do.
Give my life to love and
Protect you.