Category: Dark (or that's why i've been addicted to darkness)
What is life when i've become emotionless
Feeling extirpated from this cold hard world
I'll show you now what hurt does mean
Just listen, and don't you utter a single word
What is freedom when i'm haunted by a memory
Of you treating me like an eyeful of dust
So come to me, don't you talk money
Computing all what you have barely lost
Did i say "listen" , when I meant "feel"
Oh.. you're right. I'm not aduced to explain
Feeling i'm your ball, kicking me to nowhere
Honey, I'm a graduate of the faculty of pain
Where ingratitude is all what i have to get
Where anger slowly, bitterly crawls under skin
I feel I wanna get the grips of your neck
While wanting you was my only sin
Ooops! Did that annoy you my dear?
Good.Now i'll nail you to that harsh ground
I'm sick of being a rondo, a draft
Mmm, i hear a cry.. What a lovely sound!
I'll look down there and see you
Laying inert with half-closed eyes
Darling, I'm enormously full of emptiness
I can't wait to hear more of your lies
Was that:"i'm sorry, my love"?
Is your disgusting smile fading away?
Well, i'm sorry, too.But who cares??
There's no longer anything to do, or say
Just as volcanoes do to red, hot lava
You, out of my life, I will extrude
I'll torture the rest of you, how happy!
I'm sorry, dear. Am i being so rude??
You can't be out of harm's way
As long as I breathe and i'm alive
That's why my knife is here my love
We bleed, in the pool of death, we dive
The curve of silence finally emerges
Leaving our dead bodies, Latest release!!
I will always hark to how things were
May our souls now rest in peace...
A contest entry
- 4 Options: First Love, Darkness addict, Rain, or your Almost Lover by Rain-Shot-Rose.
600 points, ended September 7, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The most options I have ever seen.XF by redhanded.
1079 points, ended December 19, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~~ Break Me Down ~~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
615 points, ended December 26, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me how much you were affected by the idea... Rate it out of 10 please.
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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What is freedom when i'm haunted by a memory
I'm
there are a few other places where I needs capitalized as well.
this is well written. congratulations on the silver trophy you have earned with this write. thank you for sharing this with me today and i hope to be reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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thanx
thank you Viyanna, and i will be reading more of your stuff soon
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Wow, as I was reading this, I kept thinking,
"Ooh, ok this is my favourite part" and then I'd read another few lines, and then a little more - and then I kept getting confused as to what my favourite part actually was because you had so much original imagery in here, like the ball kicked to nowhere, faculty of pain graduate, eyeful of dust, etc!
Excellent job - thanks for entering
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I know how you feel, I want to punish someone for all the pain they have caused me too and damn sure as hell I will.
Well wrote, very real for me too. -
I really liked this prompt! It is very well put together. If you could please place your option number for me in your author notes I would greatly appreciate it, any questions on that feel free to ask. thanks so much for your entry. best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded) -
ZZzzz
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That's why my knife is here my love
We bleed, in the pool of death, we dive
those lines put a smile on my face, there so dark and sinister i can feel the emotion pulsating through me, u express ur feelings well... i love this!!
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Wow! That was really good. I felt your pain with you explicit details. I love the different ways you explained your feelings and conveyed them. I was really affected. I would say 8 out of 10 with 10 being the highest.
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Nice one.....Revenge is sweet.. always,
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like my NICK SAY It takes a woman to fight for her man, sometimes it take a little more.
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It takes a woman to fight for her man
I admire such
well done
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jeez!
Very dark! very deep, very good! wow, you are skilled. congrats on your silver!
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thanks for ur comment
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I have gone down the trail of revenge--revenge used to be my prome mover--now I am like an old snake--leave me alone and we're OK--get to near and you are bit.
You made your point very clear--it flows very well.
bw
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I am speecheless and breathless, it is wonderfully penned
The choice of words, the emotions, imagery and intellect is so wonderfully showing here. If I did not know your age...It is so mature and so beautifuly penned. Fabulous write my dear. You deserve the gold and not the silver. it is a 20/10 not 9.5.
do I detect jealousy from the last commentator, it is idiocy and envy I assume. Great answer and to the point. Girl keep it up, you are wonderful. BRAVO.
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exactly, it wasn't your place, which enrages me. Everybody imposes, based on assumption. don't they?
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I simply don't understand your comment, i dunno if it is some kind of idiocy or is it because i just can't understand.
anyway, i'd like futher expalnation of what you mean.
welcome to allpoetry!
sherry
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LOL
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Feeling i'm your ball, kicking me to nowhere
Honey, I'm a graduate of the faculty of pain
Where ingratitude is all what i have to get
Where anger slowly, bitterly crawls under skin
I feel I wanna get the grips of your neck
While wanting you was my only sin
Ooops! Did that annoy you my dear?
Good.Now i'll nail you to that harsh ground
I'm sick of being a rondo, a draft
Mmm, i hear a cry.. What a lovely sound!
.........
No match !!! you have done here wonderful !!!
By
The Poet Of Hearts And Beautiful Words
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O.O Very dark. Like it creeps up on you. Creepy, chilling, cold. I honestly felt the breath being sucked out of my chest. 11/10
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wow that was so intense and disturbing... very well written though i'd rate it a 9.5...good luck in my contest and thanks for entering!!
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'living well is the best revenge'
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Superb plus
Disgusting! Yet, a fine dark write, I must admit. You expressed yourself very well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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please rate guys
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I loved it. My ex broke up with me after 71/2 months and i can relate to this poem. he hurt not only emotionally but also phisically and if i could i would to him.
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This is a great dark poem, i love the feelings and the pain you have expressed here, i like how you are looking at "him" and seeing the pain and that you don't care anymore cuss this person made you the way you are now from inflicting the pain on you, i think its an 8 out of 10
keep up the wonderful writing,
~Amy
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