I stay up far too late at night,
because I am a driven man.
What drives me is the primal urge
to state my feelings while I can,
though you may think the problem's drink
and life is going down the pan.
But drinking's not the trouble now
(it was at one time, I confess);
it isn't booze that bothers me,
or leads me nightly to excess:
it's the desperate need to show the world
the inner me, to self-express.
So, nightly in my darkened room,
the only light my console screen,
I explore the secrets of my soul,
sometimes dark, at times serene--
but always (till I fall asleep)
with senses honed, perceptions keen.
A contest entry
- Rewrite this poem with very descriptive words by Dangerousparable.
380 points, ended September 5, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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So glad to find this one ...
Bill! I was returning the favor and found this gem of yours which is so well shared. It may not be personal, since you've entered it in this contest, but it seems to be well-written with just the right recipe for those of us who can ID with this kind of life that reaps life. I am an AM riser, same idea just works opposite. ... but always ( till I really wake) with senses honed, perceptions keen! Glad you shared. joy
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If it ain't one obsession, it's another.
Enjoyed your write.
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Good work thank you
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If you're a driven man your real name must be Ford FitzTransit!
That's all I have to say about that.
Life is like a box of bunnies - you never know what you're going to get.
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Outstanding, my friend. I can relate to this in so many ways! LOL But I think you already knwo that. Well done, indeed. Good luck and write on. One.
Dez
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excellent re-write that captures the weary goal of a hungry poet seeking solace in the night. Best of
luck to you in the contest.~~~Artis
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A lyrical obessional-confessional.
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Now we know what you get up to after dark!!Lol.Excellent Bill, Good luck.....mal
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A good piece, you are always drawn to certain parts as a reader, i really liked the first four lines, just for personal reasons really.
I like the 2nd verse to - clever using an aside to speak directly to the reader and then ryhming the line later on, that is a nice touch.
Tough contest and i hope you do well.
James
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