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My Hung-Over Insomniac Pen

Missing image

 

 

 

 

My insouciant insomniac

inebriated eyes unshuttering the night

never, I say, never again

as I vomit my hangover upon the page…

 

buried in a soft pillowed keyboard

dreaming

vibrant lover and friend

memories swirl on a tight flat space…

 

I journey

toward the floor

collapsing

 

in exhaustion

wondering

who is driving

 

& what is being driven

by an inebriated

and insouciant taxi

.

and once again

I pay the fare…

 

warmly wear a dark happy mask

with a light somber mood

painted with magic

 

then, played on a fiddle, until

dizzy, donning, heaving

I hurl again all over the page

with my hung-over insomniac pen.

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • PoeticEmily
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hey congrats!!! I didn't realize you won the gold!
    I didn't even get HM.. hahah -

  • Judith Chandler
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm hoping the vomiting wasn't literal. There is nothing more effective as a cure for drinking -- for a while.

    Like the taxi imagery.


    • wbiro gold member
      September 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      no, it was symbolic- never try to live the life of the artist that you are perceived to be... lol

  • Riamh
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well penned, excellent imagery
    Slayer

  • Dangerousparable silver member
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    great backroud

    Lots of thought went into this

  • storiesuntold
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    Oh my goodness what a muse this is but probably true for some


    • wbiro gold member
      September 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks, only metaphorically, I hope...!

  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! What an interesting take on the original poem. Makes me wonder if this was a personal experience or not ;-) Great imagery and imagination in this fine write. Good luck!

  • Hopeless Romantic09
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This was quite interesting, I enjoyed your open vocabulary. I hate to say that I am usually short-termed when speaking with people and actually enjoy seeing people going into detail and such aswell as using words one wouldnt normally use or see. Sorry if my comment doesnt make any sense or is slightly rediculous.

    . Rewarded 6


    • wbiro gold member
      September 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Glad to have drawn a few more words than usual out of you! Reminds me of the human psyche- find those who, when you are around, you actually like yourself... (unless you're like me and need constant challenges...!)
  • sgking123
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    and once again

    I pay the fare…


    warmly wear a dark happy mask

    with a light somber mood

    painted with magic



    then, played on a fiddle, until

    dizzy, donning, heaving

    I hurl again all over the page

    with my hung-over insomniac pen.


    what an ending.I was wondering where you were going with this all.you took an unexpected turn and did end very well.thanks for sharing.Please visit some of my poetry and offer comments.

  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting write with great descriprive imagery. Well done!
  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I didn't read the original but this poem certainly uses descriptive language, liked the internal rhyme and the intensity. Well done.

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 13 of 13