If I were to draw, paint or sculpt
a mosaic of me, like my mom
tried to do in her little man painting,
I’d probably fail miserably!
I did not inherit any
of my mothers artistic talents,
nor her gourmand way of cooking,
thank goodness!
Neither did I develop any
Musical skills like
my younger brother.
He taught himself the guitar!
He also sailed across the
Atlantic a few times!
I never got farther sailing
in my own boat than Ensenada, Mexico!
I learned over many years of trying,
that I could write, in English,
more common verbiage
than intellectual jargon.
I guess I could write something in prose,
say in five volumes, similar to
Carl Sandburg’s biography of Lincoln.
But who would ever read it?
But, that’s most likely overkill
(or would be called roadkill?)
on the flip side, I’m pretty sure
I could write a short little three
or four stanzas, (quatrains, to be sure)
or whatever, concerning me,
in a round about way, see what I mean?
Knowing that I can write words is certainly
encouraging, even if it doesn't flow!
A poem mosaic’ing me may not be so
multi-colored or pretty as a flower,
but, reading it wouldn’t take an hour!
In summary, perhaps you’ve seen,
how easy is been to not picture me!
some things I’m not. But, after all,
we may not be introduced until fall!
Author notes
Author's Notes: The theme of this piece is a poem about me! It describes mostly what I'm not, so you may have to fill in the lines to see what I am!
The picture on top is from a contest where I submitted an earlier version of this poem!
A contest entry
- Mosaic by Ms. Black Eyeliner.
700 points, ended September 18, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who are you? by zammy.
700 points, ended October 14, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can a poem be an analog of a mosaic?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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one thing, I think the last stanza needs a bit of looking over.
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hmmm I can tell you've taken the trouble to edit it, and I actually like the angle you've taken, defining who you are, by what you're not. Also, I like the opening much more this time. Good work and originality!!
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haha This made me smile! It feels like you were just sitting there and casually thinking all this to yourself! I liked the mosaic-ness of it
Thanks for entering.
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Interesting
You have given a somewhat fractured portrait of yourself by reflecting others of different qualities different than your percieved own. This gives this poem a definate mosaic feeling but also shares information of possibilities and probabilities for your chosen path. I enjoyed reading this thoughtful write.
Dennis
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good job
"....i’d probably fail miserably!....'
bad job
denotes low self esteem, setting yourself up for failure because you have already misappropiately labeled your work as a failure no matter what you write,
".....did not inherit any
of my mothers artistic talents,
after all. nor did i develop any..."
bad job
it's my understanding you don't inherit nothing, musical skills, painting, etc is a talent, if you put time and effort into it, you will become experienced and knowledgeable, "develop"? you develop film, as in picture, kodak, etc
work is the key
"....he taught himself the guitar!....'
good job
you recognize your brother put his mind to something and accomplished it, plus you are a caring person because you give credit where credit is due
"...i guess i could write something in prose,
say in five volumes, similar to
Carl Sandburg’s biography of Lincoln..."
menza menza job
guessing is a fantasy, do it
and
it shows you have high intellectual ability because you are wise enough to compare yourself to an accomplished poet
but
stay away from president's
reminds me
english, sophomore year, mr. mcbride, he loved sandburg
Fog
by: Carl Sandburg (1878-1967)
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and them moves on.
see, even a great poet write for the common person
easy, a moment in time, standing on a wharf at sunrise, the fog is coming in
you can do this
"...in a round about way, see what i mean..."
capeice, focus, idea, theme, outline, write, edit, write, write, edit, write, finished
"...reading it wouldn’t take an hour!..."
this is not a school book report to add filler into, add pages of bull,
and
it's no biography, summarize important times in your life, go for it
in essence you did a beautiful job of critiquing yourself in your verse
set the stage for another verse
"my mosaic", etc
i know, too much mtv
lol
'....we may not be introduced until fall!....'
looking forward to it
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Thanks Francis!
Did I not paint a "crazy"picture of myself! Yes, this poem is self critical, but it was written in "technicolor" and does not merely preach or tell the audience about me! Do you agree?
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Absolutely Maahvahlous!!!
I love your mosaic!!! This is so refreshing to see nowadays, a gentle, humble poet's self-expression in true earth colors... And so pure, like the golden rays of sunshine sparkling on a spring morning's dewdrop. Great poetic work and imagery within this masterpiece, and I wish all the best of luck to you in the contest, Poet!!! Your shining muse is a winner!!! Peace, Cyn 
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very nice
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Nice. You are telling about yourself with a nice flow that keeps the reader interested.Once again, you have a clear tone to your writing that is appealing.
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Intruiging, I love the even flow as you express what you have learnt, the talents you pocess and the appreication of them
An interesting poem I enjoyed reading
Best of luck!
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Bandit appreciation!
Thank you for contributing this fine poem to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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I really like this piece the faceted nature of the poem is wonderfully fitting! I like the continuation of lines over stanzas - it produces a wonderful flow I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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I like it
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omg this is sooo funny Great job good luck in the contest
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