the air is full
of august and exhaust
I breathe it in
you breathe it out
your words are deceptively simple:
the sky
is full of sky
even the low part
nobody calls sky
perhaps because it's full
of people
your cells inside my body
grow and multiply
like magpies flocking
to the power lines
when they drop a feather
you hand it to me -
a small gesture of will -
and then you smile
mine wouldn’t be convincing
so I don’t try
I want to land
on the power lines with the birds
the birds just like me
our bullet-shaped bodies
diving through stifling air
to cling to the wire
but your cells grow
and they’re taking over.
I kiss when you kiss me
nod when you call
but it’s not you
that I wanted
Not then, not now
when we spill over
onto the next street
all the single things fly off
but the birds that
sat together linger
and already leaves
begin to puddle
on the cobbled sidewalk
this crippled city’s
beautiful disarray
looms before us and maybe
maybe I'll see beauty
in our disarray too
A contest entry
- 10001 reasons to write like Onerios13 by MuddyKing.
10001 points, ended October 1, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Reviews Appreciated
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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second stanza was my fave, but the whole thing made me read over and over again...subliminal poetry perhaps
excellent
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...well done!
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I love the end of the first stanza too. And then the ending is excellent, very powerful.
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Outstanding write - loved too many fragments to copy then all, but a special note must be raised for the end of the first stanza. Brilliant metaphor and such a lonely wistful voice to this. It is good to see you writing. Though to be fair, no blame - as I've not been reading much until recently.
Good stuff this *covets into bookmarks*
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Thanks.
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This is good...
Much like Darcy's voice.
♥Becky♥
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