I just don’t know what to write tonight
as I hold this simple pencil
still
but the page is one whole empty sky
and each time I look at it
it falls flat as a lifeless flag
- and no words will write
on ruckles.
Ironically,
some words are churning now
but when all is said
and done
I may just as well have sketched
the stone cold floor
and besides,
damned yankees don’t do irony
do they?
Yet,
at this very empty
moment mine
someone, unknown and elsewhere,
delivers a stillborn child
someone’s heart bites on a bullet
or a blade
someone decides to screw something the size
of a country
someone utters a lie that seeks to fool
millions
and a future president
wipes it’s two-faced
arse.
But that’s not all:
some lucky fucker really hears Mozart for the first time
or turns the last page of chapter four
in a book by Steinbeck
or laughs their tits off to Life of Brian
and smokes their first joint
or writes a song that will be
revered for years
or holds their woman of discarded dreams
and kisses her for the first time,
yes,
kisses her.
I bet
another someone just shed
one more tear
for John Lennon,
even after all these
years -
so
let you take me down
‘cause I’m going to
strawberry fields without you
forever
and that is
I wish you’d disagree.
Fuck,
that is I wish you’d
disagree.
Author notes
Love in Chains Trilogy: Part 1 Sulphuric Certainty; Part 2 Ruckles; Part 3 Love in Chains.
A contest entry
- Pre-write Contest: Love Poetry by Nicole Hanna.
15000 points, ended January 28, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Interesting
Despite the weak opening, the poem is fascinating and beautifully cynical. The only problem I have is the aforementioned opening stanza which just doesn't grip me as a reader. Also, a lifeless flag is a bizarre analogy that doesn't make too terribly much sense in context.
Still, it's a wonderful poem and I look forward to reading more. Remember everything I say is my own opinion, and you obviously don't need to take it as anything other then pointless rambling from a fellow poet.
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I really don't like the opening stanzas... poetry about poetry turns me off. BUT, with that said, you turned it up a few notches with the following verses. The line about shedding a tear for lennon was genius (even if you used one of my no-no words like "tear"- I'll forgive it this once
). Thanks for entering.
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Very interesting poem
I love the emotions in this, the thoughts and sad deep hope in which I read, love the inspirations you brought forth as well,
thanks for sharing, Good luck
Linda
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the flow of this write had a meloncollie feel to it, not as powerful as the last write, which directed your thoughts to someone specifically and this write you seemm to be talking out loud, not directing your thoughts to anyone. This write has some great nastalgea incorporated and great setiment about the "firsts" for someone out there in the world...I liked how you verbalized
"someone, unknown and elsewhere,
delivers a stillborn child
someone’s heart bites on a bullet
or a blade
someone decides to screw something the size
of a country
someone utters a lie that seeks to fool
millions
and a future president
wipes it’s two-faced
arse."
All in all I like this very much...I like your "kiss my ass" attitude towards the end and hope after writing this you felt a little better.
Your depths of your talent amazes me...now more than ever.
Be well my friend until next time.
Shelly -
I enjoyed the stream of consciousness style in this poem, moving from a blank page to miserable existences to uplifting scenerios to John Lennon. Although I am a little prudish about cussing, I think it was effective in this type of work. It gave me a great deal to ponder. Peace, Liz
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A poem where you are lost and then find yourself, I like the set-up, it was similar to a rant, but it wasn't; and thank goodness for that. I enjoyed the conflict, it brought out resolution, and pretty much put the reader on one side or the other or in the middle (LOL). My opinion of Presidents is this, with the caliber we have had the last couple of decades, you have to wonder who is really running the country. The only thing brilliant that I see, is how elections are rigged, and lies are orchestrated into propaganda that is believed by so many of us that it makes our country, and our people, appear as idiots.
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Many thanks for your comment - but please remember, there are around 195 countries in the world and the majority have presidents, but you were bang on with what you said about your own and his administration. I have been to the USA many times and met so many fine people there (and on this site too!) - but unfortunately, your country is regularly represented by the words and actions of your Pres - hence you are collectively appearing to the world as a nation of brainless, dangerous dorks - and this is embarrassing for the majority of US citizens that do not fit that bill! Please stop the rot! Rant over!
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Genius
I find it hard to critique poetry that I love. And man, I love this! LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!! How can I say it any other way? It builds, it ebbs, it flows it's just bloody brilliant! One of my all time favourites. Thank you x
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this poem is absolutely fantastic. the way it transitions from being universal to getting more and more personal is really interesting gives the poem a beautiful flow. each line separation has a purpose and it is clearly a well thought out piece of art. yes, art.
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Thank you so much - It truly is an honour to receive such plaudits from AP's greatest secret.
L&P, Kx
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Hmm... I could get lost in this poem for days!
I love all the little details about what people are doing and could be doing... interesting little things I would never have thought of (yet again, like with the last poem), such as crying for John Lennon... well I never really think of John Lennon. LOL.
Anyway, brilliant write. Some might say it is a bit off-focus and disorganized, speeding from one thought to the next... but I really like that. I think it gives this subject matter a reality check.
Also, the ending is wonderful. I think using curse words is completely appropriate to get a point across in situations like this.
Wonderful write, as usual!!! Yet another reason why you are one of my favorite poets on AP (or ever, actually, since that last one I read - that makes you top Robert Frost, Sylvia Plath, and Robert Browning in my book!).
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GULP!
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gulp? banging head against wall? that's not good!
what did I say that was wrong?
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So...life been getting you down???? I am sorry to hear that life is not treating you well. There is an up side to your glum mood...it is this incredible write. How ...matter-a-fuck-in-fact and creative and powerful, with some great metaphors. I like it alot. I think it's one of your best...I hope things pick up for you and again I can read your "happy mood" writes.
I'll be thinking bout you!!!
Nevadapoet
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Actually I'm pretty upbeat about most things in my life at present - there's just one issue that I wish I could resolve and that's the issue that I'm ploughing in a few poetic furrows at the mo! The upside of that is writing - and the mood it delivers helps me steer clear of rhyming couplets! Thanks so much for your awesome comment.
L&P, Kx
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