confession: I can't change the way I feel;;
...while your eyes are slowly being glued to me
for what seems like hours at a time
how are you blankly inclined to forget
that I refuse to charm you back
if you've become reluctant about being mine;
drumming my fingers at an agitated pace
while my heart beats out of time
these unattended thoughts boil with confusion
& it helps none that you've disruptively become
the spitting image of an appetizing boy
I once thought I knew;
but I complied to the engaging attention
hopes falling loosely from the palm of my hand
anchoring immediately into your control
this is double of what I bargained for
burying my head in my pillow only to scream
becoming tired of watching my life
being fiercely put on rewind
& not having the slightest idea
on what these troubling emotions mean.
Rewriting your name in a dull permanent marker
[right next to his]
considering every last consequence
of a contagious disease I've inhaled
just by being intoxicated by your cologne
or feeling his blistering fingerprints on my skin
as his hand trailed nervously down my knee
it's entirely too risky
to character responsibilities into the wet cement
watching infatuation form into something beautiful
only to be accordingly dried out
& with one stroke
be hastily destroyed
it's the same routinized & baneful nightmare
I'm horrendously caught in separate directions
as he unfailingly watches & you call my name;
quickly, I'm banding my eyelids together
unable to choose pulls at my seams
so I crudely let my heart lead the way.
I forfeit it all
nevermore should you expect
another tedious & desperate call
demanding a reason why
you can't seem to assimilate me into your heart
so why bring yourself to believe
that it's an absolute importance
that I accept you into mine[?]
& he's just another face
in an unfamiliar room full of strangers
& even though I remind myself
that I deserve the best
I'd crawl right back into his arms anyday;
I'd fail miserably at my own test.
[deceived.bruised.let.down.
beaten to the ground];
baby,
don't say that I didn't warn you
that I can't change the way I feel.
♥
Honorable mention
Adding your comment:
hahaha. That really does honestly make my day. I'm not even joking 
