i love the way you birthed a child
as though it were a poorly admired statue
did you believe it would just sit there
waiting on you to decide its next move?
what did you expect
in that case?
that perhaps the sound of
two cocks slapping
would rhythm the same way
as a merry go round
and wind rustling leaves
i stole your eyes one day
and bought a Picasso
it was then i saw
everything was round
every shape led perfectly
into the next
i could tell between eyes and noses
and my cigarette
tasted just like a psalm
i now sound like a bent nail
and you just watch nervously
as i bite my lip
trying to hang another picture
my ladder grown out of broken frames
i want you to understand
you are a cold whisky
drunk in under ten minutes
and as much as i feel you
at the tip of my toes
you're just an empty widow
vanishing into a cloud of bile
trying to fill every hole
between Thursday tips
and the price of black roses
for you i will never write about
trees budding under a winters snow
because oddly enough
it is the sound of two cocks slapping
(to me)
that reminds me of
the evening clouds sleeping still
like the wall of China
the sun seeping through them
like a pregnant volcano
yes
my ears beat to that sound
they marvel at a Picasso
when my naked eyes pray
begging to see this truth
perhaps generations died for you Father
but once love ceases its slapping
i wish my soul to be nowhere near
Author notes
god vs homosexuality vs me
A contest entry
- dragging a dead deer up a hill by the atlantic.
1000 points, ended September 16, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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«...so that's where your mind rambles when you're flippin' burgers!!» hahahaha
Me I like. Whatever goes on in your mind, keep putting it down on paper. 
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no Comments!
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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why do you write a comment that says 'no comment'...do you realize thats kinda dumb?
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OMG this is epic awesome just WOW the metaphors flow so beautiful through this style that they jump out like thunder when you read them you got alotta talent like picasso level talent
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thanks glad you liked it!!
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"my cigarette
tasted just like a psalm" - now that is poetry.
"i now sound like a bent nail"
"i want you to understand
you are a cold whisky" - there are so many I could pick out. I really like the imagery here. And the slight, but not all-that-obvious naughtiness of the slapping cocks. This poem seems overall desolate, even though not at first-read.
"you are a cold whisky
drank in under ten minutes" - I think you meant "drunk"?
"your just an empty widow" - "you're"?
This is good
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thanks ill change the errors, oh and check out my contest please
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I was just reading it
I hope you'll still write sometime though... I know I haven't been reading and commenting much, but you're good. -
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i cant really write anymore, i dont find the strength the let out the things that need to anymore. its hard to explain, but its one of the things ive had to let go of in order to fix others seemingly more important.
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Still amazing I see.
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ah sweety! dude im back! lol... i was hoping you were writting agian... i wrote a poem but its shitty its more of a piece i needed to free myself of. But dude i love this....
really you never lost that talent and i swear to god if you ever give up writing ill whoop you bottom madame! lol nah seriously this is great Jane
i now sound like a bent nail
and you just watch nervously
as i bite my lip
trying to hang another picture
my ladder grown out of broken frames
ADORE IT! love u
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...so that's where your mind rambles when you're flippin' burgers!!
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i could tell between eyes and noses
and my cigarette
tasted just like a psalm
Utterly speechless. Seriously. This truly divided the novices from the pros...and left a few of those wimpy puppies a'howlin' on the porchside.
Most excellent.
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so worthy of gold.
Definitely a subject to drag a dead deer up a hill over.
I commend you for writing this with emotion and yet being able to get it across without a "preachy" sound to it.
♥Becky♥
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Pure Poetry
I love poetry that makes me want to read it again and again
The fifth stanza stood out to me, almost like a pause to take a breath
This came full circle for me
and left me feeling pure again
love all of it
peace and hugs
muddy
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my sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end. i love you jane. i love you
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i love you too little one come by our place soon!
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hmmm... well... very interesting. (i know, sucky comment. oh well. so sorry. but i dont have anything helpful or particularly interesting to say)
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Incredible.
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well, thats a lot of vs!! actually I loved this though, and I thought that it was just fabulously written. My favorite part was:
and my cigarette
tasted just like a psalm
that was friggin awesome. I loved it. Great job.
Slip
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thank you very much
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