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In The Moment

 

Within, perceived stillness;

tranquil graceful breeze.

Now, my only moment;

as time appears to cease.

 

Thoughts do not exist here,

as I merge with mortal sphere.

Visions are unraveled,

I dismiss my darkest fear.

 

Flowing consciousness,

transporting my inner being.

Relinquishing my free will,

All burdens that it brings.

 

As my breath pulls in,

serenity and peace.

Surrendering my humanness ,

my worries, I release.

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    October 16, 2008
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    Smooth flowing and beautifully written. This one is serenity.


  • who iam
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Tranquility at its Best!

    You touch upon those moments when one finds themselves
    at their very best-at peace with the world.
    Great write,a serene picture it envokes for all that read.It's a natural for Gold I think!


  • Azgar
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love the second stanza


  • kendraphic
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sounds like youre enlightened...kinda like the first time before it goes. the say it comes and goes often b4 its a perminant state.

    i love this


  • November-Dani
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Exactly what i am looking for. Very well written. 'My worries, i release.' To let everything go, and find yourself.
    Thank you ever so much for entering, best of luck.
    Dani.


  • lianonsidhe silver member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh so very soothing! This is a lovely write! The language runs like liquid and echoes the feel of calm and inner strength. Wonderful! Thank you for sharing.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Humm..this is the wonderful state of your heart,mind and yes your poetry as well..quite a comforting response is felt..well done..


  • Providence
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This has the pulse of a breath. Stunning work my dear poet!

    Ovations!

    Marianne


  • Grateful
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is an excellent poem that has a soothing rhythm to it...i rally enjoyed it...best of luck in this contest...


  • plainoljoe
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    when will everyone else learn to 'let go and let God". It makes me smile that for one are a true believer and actresss of that knowledge

    Joe

  • Ace - LightWithinMe
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hello. There are some good sentiments in here that are expressed well. I do agree with some of the stuff written in here, if not all, hahaa. Your rhyme is good apart from in stanza 3, line 2 and 4, for some reason you have dropped the rhyme there. The rest doesn't read forced, and flows well. I wish you well in the contest. My regards.


  • Simply Olivia
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "Surrendering my humanness ,
    my worries, I release." - Excellent!


  • Rovingone gold member
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good piece of writing. Good verse with strong rhythm and the use of words like merging, flowing and transporting give it a singularly powerful movement.

  • goalsv
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful poem. Great metaphoric write that makes one reflect on the way of our life.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    outstanding!

    yeah, I LOVE THIS! great flow and rhyme and rhythm..and story!

1 - 15 of 15