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A Prelude to Agony

Lord of an empty place
Lead rains conceal my face

Blanketed with decaying tedium

Lead me through the masquerade
In dance among the epicedium

A storybook romance
(With fairytale desinence)
She callously kept away from me

Replacing it with
A Shakespearean

Prelude...
            ... to agony.


By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2008

Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • louiskinnaird
    September 16, 2008

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    this is nice. you chose just the right words to add depth to a piece thats short in length, but long on lasting effect. brilliantly done.

    return the favor


  • Rianna Bear
    September 9, 2008

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    short and powerful, as i'd like to be one day. i've got the short part down, just need to work on the rest!

    damn, it's like a slap in the face! hard!!!


  • Wind 03
    September 5, 2008

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    :))))

    wow!! very nice and well written as alwaysi liked the part when you stated She callously kept away from me

    Replacing it with
    A Shakespearean

    Prelude...
    ... to agony. very sad!!!

    such profound piece of work

    your friend juliet



  • notorious
    September 5, 2008

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    I always feel like you're talking about the same thing, but in a different way...
    which would be talking about different things that are all interrelated.

    I'm not making very much sense today...

    I don't recall ever reading any rhyme from you, but I think you've done an absolutely awesome job of it.

    I love your title, even though I don't usually like titles to be part of a poem...in this instance, I don't mind.

    "Lead rains"<--adored this phrase...it sounds SO toxic & poisonous...and gets your point across most well.

    'tedium' & 'epicedium'...amazing, amazing, amazing rhyme there...and such kick-ass words too, might I add.

    The bracketed line, "(With fairytale desinence)"...just awesome! I don't care much for brackets, but again, don't mind it here.

    Good luck

    Jessica


  • Broken Machine
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh man, I love the rhyme scheme in this poem!
    I love the second line of this poem, it kind of reminds me of a person being abused. I really liked how you wrote this. I can't think of the words to what I'm thinking about the fourth stanza right now, but maybe tomorrow when I'm not brain dead I can figure out what I want to say about that.
    Good job, good luck in the contest! = )


  • Enkeli
    September 4, 2008

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    I am captivated by your skill with the english language... This is truly impressive. I'm sorry I can't think of much else to say, aside from I am honored to have such an excellent write in my contest.

    Thank you so much,
    ♥
    Enkeli


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Title,

    You have captivated the way it goes here twin poe.. Sadly the door of your heart opens, and from that day forward, this thing called love eats you from the insides out, and as you know, there's no happy ending. Death is the only prize within my eyes. Hey, seems I come to your pages and get inspired, always thinking something up. Have to write more, so I can read ya more. You rocked this per usual, all the best. Brother Timothy aka poeticweaver.

1 - 7 of 7