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ice dry

 
 
 

 

 
we take blue names
& paint ourselves smaller
 
until able to settle

in brittle air
 

we rain

though only to throw

all salt away 

 

but no sky is ever empty,
just filled with clouds that are,
 
each dried by a vanishing
moment
 
like the remnants of water
made hard-
 
a cold lens
 
that refuses to see
us drown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Edits: 6

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Randomly Beautiful
    September 10, 2008
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    I absolutely love your writing. Brilliant.


  • tomisb
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is a sharp strength here that faces the sere fires and swears at the wind that turns everything to sand. It is strange how ice can burn and how we can be unwilling to let ourselves immolate when the world says we should. Like this piece immensely.
    Love, Tom B.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply



    yes



  • iverbthenoun
    September 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful... each and every word, is...


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow

    we rain
    though only to throw
    all salt away - favorite part.






  • Cannonsfire
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is a strong piece, like the metaphor in this the only thing I had problem with was the second line..until able...it may be just me but because of until I wanted to say unable rather than able. I think we can drown without water, it's like blood boils but then that is also desire as well. I like the correlation.

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    much better

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, for starters, really nice use of the prompt given

    I've reread this about 5 times now

    having a hard time with 'each dried to a vanishing moment'

    the idea that they dry to something that doesn't continue to exist .. yet they do

    i think that contradiction is what trips me up, that may not be a bad thing though

    love how the next two stanzas progress into the cold lense..

    the desire to drown and the lack of water for it

    this isn't as sad as it appears

    there is desire here
    and at least in my books, that connotates hope.



1 - 8 of 8