Maybe I lost it the time
I tried to stop my father's tricks.
When I tried to dodge his lips.
Tried to miss his kicks.
I was only 9 years old
And now all I know is this-
I forgave him
[From the start]
No matter what the bastard is.
Or maybe it was when
Big brother left it up to me.
The five kids became my own.
MY responsibility.
I was 10 years at the time
And even after I was free...
He was my hero [through and through]
And he just walked out on me.
Or it could have been the first time
My siblings called me Mom.
I was the only one who cared enough
To keep 'em safe from harm.
When they were crying out from hunger
I held them in my arms.
All 11 years of words I had
I used to keep them calm.
Or it might have been the night
When I stole a car to save
My big sister - all drugged up
And watched my friend shot in the face.
After everything
I tucked her in
And silently forgave.
I was only 12 years old
But everything I had
-I gave.
It's likely that I lost it
When I looked in the driveway
And a lady with a state car
Was coming up our way.
And I screamed out
'Cause I knew
They were taking us away.
The kids were all I had
...
I lost 'em anyway.
It was probably that night,
He slept in someone else's home.
My own brother, my best friend
-We'd never been alone.
So I cried for his 11 years
And 13 of my own.
As the truth of what had happened
Shook me
Through my bones.
All six of us divided,
It could have been the time
When no one would buy them clothes
[I almost got caught in the crime.]
I was stealing for my kids.
I had raised them.
They were mine.
If my 14 years had ended there
I'd still believe I shined.
Or maybe it was on the day
I finally turned 15.
And was sent down to the basement
With my own burned
Mac-and-cheese.
To wallow in my foster home,
And sit and watch TV.
They were all upstairs together,
But I wasn't family.
Still,
If you want my truth
Then I'll say what I believe.
They'll be adopted in a month
And the thought just makes me seethe.
I was raped by my own father,
I watched my idol
Leave.
But I held us all together,
Never took the time to grieve.
Somehow I lost it
[-My control]
And
all
I
can
do
is
B R E A T H E
Author notes
I think too much.
Let Me Know
Comments
1 - 58 of 58
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Holy Shit!!! well i really enjoyed reading this. Its very well written and the flow of the words makes it easy to read. I can relate on some parts but i wont say all. I hope things get better for you. Great write.
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Okay so that was pretty much amazing. I haven't been through all of the same things.. but I do know what it's like to become a mother to your siblings at an early age. It's a really hard thing to go through, and it can tear you apart. But hey.... at least we made it through right??
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excellent
Your poetry is written in a form that i really like. I know what this is like. I was a foster child from the age of 13 and it killed me when me and my younger brothers were divided by the state. It was really one of the worst experiances for me. The worst expieriance was later at the age of 16,which is what you are,according to your profile,I was woken by the sound of my grandmother pounding on my door to tell me that my 11 year old brother,Harley,had been killed in some freak car accident. That was the worst experiance of my life. Its been 2 years and I am 18 now and out of the system! WOOHOOO!! lol Dont worry,you`ll be free,soon too. Just look up to the stars,kid. Things have to get better.Make something of yourself. Dont let the world get you down! check out a couple of my latest poems,they might make you smile. Even remind you of you and your girl.
This poem was brilliant. Hope to read more. [[Sorry for giving you my life story,lol]]
-Megan
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*Huggs*
I know how you feel.
After all the stupid and selfish shit our fathers have done to us and our families, we just can't help but forgive them.
This was amazing and I am glad I kinda got to understand a little bit more about you... -
wow
that poem is really emotional. i liked how you pointed out specific points in ur life. it really shows how much you care about them. its the hardest thing in the world to see ppl leave.
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OMG
How else can i describe a poem soooo full of emotion....fulll to the brim i could feel the pain, hurt, grief, struggles, and all the troubles u encountered..............it's overtly touching......nicely penned.....u didn't need it to rhyme to pass the message....i felt it in every line. WONDERFULL i must say.
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that's a really visually strong poem, that is full of emotion, but not winey poor me emotion. Raw, real, strong emotion. I found the poem overall to be very strong, but felt a little let down by the ending. I know rounded and completed endings make writers feel good, but I think this poem could of ended differently, more stronger. Great work and good luck.
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Wow!
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oh my god... amazing.
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wow this is so beautiful! sad and horrific, but still beautiful in a weird sense. Great write
Sincerely,
Toddy
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You summed it up in one word... breathe.
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this poem brought me to tears. the poem was so incredibly wonderful.
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I really can't find words to give your poem the credit it deserves... but I'll try anyway.
It's an absolutely phenomenal poem. I loved it
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W O W.....
I really don't know what to say to this. It was so.... I don't know. It was like a slap in the face but in a good way. If you know what I mean. It was real and spoke of REAL life trails. It really touched my heart and it made me want a happy ending.
I think that your style was great. The flow was perfection, it kept me going. The emotion was intense and true, which always makes good poetry.
AMAZING job and keep it up.
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This has so much emotion and detail. I cried. I went thru something similar. So i know how it is. But i love the way in each phrase you have the next age up very creative. I love the way you write. It is really deep. If you could read my songs i would be very grateful. You are an amzing writer and i would be honored to have you read mine and tell me what you think.
Ashley
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WOW
shit. i dont know what to say. but that broke my heart. its an amazing write though... -
speechless....just speechless
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Speachless
wow, i dont even know what to say that was a truely amazing read. my heart goes out too you.
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Oh, this really touched my heart, and I feel for you... you must be a very strong person to be able to endure such hardship and still come out strong. I'm hoping the best for you. This is a beautiful and true poem... Shya
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W-wow. Your...this..amazing...no words can describe this...im speechless.
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Pwerful.... this is ful of so much. power, hart felt feeling... wow.
it just takes my breath away.
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This is amazing! The way you took car of your siblings and survived your dads attack, you are the strongest person, keep going you're worth it.
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so sad.....
Your poem tells of such sadness, it makes my heart mourn, I know what it feels like to raise my sister and brother as our mother left us, to have had a father that did that stuff to you is just horrible.
my heart goes out to you........ breath and never stop!
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DAMN!!!! thats all i can say is damn...
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Not at all, dear. You don't think too much at all. It's natural after all the emotions and memories you've subdued and controlled for so long [you must have to have remained so strong, strong enough to do everything listed] have tolled time and again on your soul and your sanity to question the strength of either or both. I do personally believe, however, that when reflecting on these integral pieces of yourself you'll find them merely resilient testaments of your own accomplishments.
Completely beside that fact, I commend you for being able to breathe! I myself suffer from panic attacks if and when I let the memories or possible shortcomings and let-downs sit too comfortably on the front porch of my mind [much less the sofa]. It's a terrible thing to find yourself without breath--whether unable or just having misplaced the will to do so. Congratulations!
As for the piece itself, I love the rhythm and punctuation you've utilized! It flows and reads as though I have some tattered shell of a girl sitting in front of me, not frantic nor emotional nor melodramatic, but simply stating all of these facts like the lines of a story replayed over and over inside her skull finally being emitted from raw, chapped lips. I can tell she is enduring a tempest of wild, thrashing emotions inside, but wills herself at this moment to expound what needs be freed her. At least that's the tone I experienced when reading this piece. Of course, therein lies the grandeur of literature--the ability for it to move so many people in such varied ways all of the same caliber and intensity--only each meeting a new perspective.
In any case, the ending is brilliant--of course--but, my favorite line by far is,
"Or maybe it was on the day
I finally turned 15.
And was sent down to the basement
With my own burned
Mac-and-cheese."
It's so real and tangible and possible that any of us could imagine ourselves in that scenario, and that's a powerful portrait to be able to paint.
Love it!
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whoa. I can't even express how that made me feel. It was, astounding. I loved it.
Life can be so horrible. I'm so sorry, but I love your poem -
Omg Mia . . . this is . . . it gave me the chills, non stop. I miss you. I miss escape.
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wow that left me completely speechless.
Life can be sooooo cruel.
that's an AMAZING write, i love every bit of it and especially the way it's set out.
xxx
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this poem is heart pounding and so so sad it just goes to show that poems without a ryme are 100x better like this one as it also tells a story gr8 poem!
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This is an amazing poem but its so very sad, your pain poured out its so raw again I saw amazing write
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this is such an sad poem and i felt the pain from the beginning to the end..its a great write.. i really cant get over this poem!!
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excellente!!!
wow!this is my first encounter to read something as meaningful as this, as emotional as this, and nothing but the best like this!!
keep writing.
you make me shiver with your thoughts, and you even make me cry, and please hold on to life...
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oh my gosh. this poem is great, i love it, the flow is diffrent, and thats cool, i'm definantly booarking this one.
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This is amazing, brilliant even.
Such a powerful... emotional write.
I love it!
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Breath Taking
This was such a wonderous poem, words cannot possibly begin to describe it. I'm sad to hear about your past, but with the strength you possessed at such a young age, I know you will go far once you are able to be on your own. Just don't give up. Very well done.
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I couldn't BREATHE after reading this.
It touched me to the very end.
Awesome write.
Almost PERFECT!!!
Summer51
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so much pain, so much responsibility... so much rejection, so sad... its so beautiful of how you wrote it... i want to cry...
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OMG!
that was so heartfelt...
its so beautifully written honeybabe
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Thanks.
If you like it you should read some of my other stuff.
Anything but my last poem though. lol.
It sucks. =P
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this is very upseting. I hope this isn't personal, if it was, you are such a amazing person for doing all that you did to raise your siblings. This is realy a great write, it had so much emotion. Hope all is well 
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o my god this is amazzing!!ur expressed ur emotions really well...and it kept my full attention the whole time i loved how u made the words strike u and pull u in as it were really happening ..(even tho i know some of it) it was fantastic tho great job... but u had me speechless
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Fantastic!!!
So real, so touching and emotional. OMG the imagery was fantastic..I enjoyed reading!! Keep up the great work. Take Care,
Dena
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This may be the most powerful and inspiring poem I personally have ever read on this website. I can't imagine the struggles you have faced and the pain you have been through, but I applaud you for realizing that you truly did shine, and were amazing for your younger siblings. amazing poem, i know I do not know you or you I, but I'm proud of what you were able to accomplish as a fellow human being.
~Nick
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I'm at lose for words. I really don't know what I should say and all but the one thing I have to say is God Bless.
Gray
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Omg that was so awesome!! I'm on the phone with my sister (XxCryingAngelXx) and I read it out loud to her and she loved it!!! Great poem, i likes!
Peace,
luv,
and Tokio Hotel,
Kiwi
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Phenomenal epic poetry!
Nicely rhymed nearly epic length history poem. It's got good flow, nice rhythm, good rhythm and fine construction! Good choice of words and fine beginning and end! It's a fine poem -- good work!
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OMG I love this poem sooo much I can relate to it a little bit and wow sooo strong and powerful...I love it <3 keep it up
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Speechless
This write is packed with so much raw emotion that it would make anyone who hasn't experienced abuse feel the pain of it. You did an incredible job outlining the events. Absolutely amazing!
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Wow...I loved the structure of the poem, how every stanza was another year of pain...What an amazing write....
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OH.MY.GOD. It's like it was written for me, just with a tweak in the circumstances. A truly amazing poem. It made me think. It made me cry. Thank you.
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Wow
this is really emotional and amazing. Its sad too that too many of us have stories like this. i took over as a mom when i was 9 too but nothing like the person in this poem went through.
He was my hero
[Through and through]
And he just walked out on me.
Or it could have been the first time
My siblings called me Mom.
I was the only one who cared enough
To keep 'em safe from harm.
i would change he to she but this part meant alot to me
Awesome write!!!
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Unbelievable...you are a very good writer from what I've seen in this poem...although this isn't about you I could feel the pain and sorrow come through your writing...good work!
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Beautiful poem i absolutely thought it was amazing. Thank you for sharing this piece that is full of emotion!
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Very emotional, and if not about you, you did an excellent job at writing this.
Sadly there is so much of this behavior in the world. My heart was breaking into reading this. Good work.
Rose
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I'm glad this is not about you, but it's such a sad tragedy as these kinds of things happen to plenty of young people and it hurts to know that this is a fate that many have to live with. It mustn't be easy.
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i like this poem its very emotional and it totally sucks for the person whose life this is
my personal preference is to be more egnimatic less abrupt in poetry more hinting then telling but thats just my personal preference
i think the way this is put togethers is great and it shows the torment faced by this person
good job
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This is so far beyond outstanding I cannot tell you. I nearly cried trying to get through it. The flow is PERFECT! It's just amazing and that's all I can say!
So sad though.... well done.
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Amazing.
This is actually amazing,
The flow and language is beautiful,
I know exactly how this girl feels.
You can rhyme more than me xD
Infact, i hardly rhyme at all but. Meh.
This is an amazingly captivating piece.
And i cant wait to read more of your work.
Beautiful, truly beautiful.
x- Chloe -x
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