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64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1446&ArtistID=9993
Look at you, such a pretty thing
Wearing one Gucci shoe
Standing naked in a dazzling storm
Singing, "Oh, what shall I do?"
While I laugh, and drink my Merlot
Too drunk to strum guitar
You could say, "Well it's a miracle."
That we have made it, quite this far.
But you were worth your weight in gold.
I prayed for clay that I could mold.
Love is safer I was told.
Safe before the sun.
Look at you, can a Wiccan sing?
Without her cat and broom?
Keep on screaming like a tempest...
Cuz that's all you'll ever do.
While I choose to be Bacchus
And play my cracked sitar
You could say, "We're way too spiritual,
and tango hipped by far."
But you were worth your weight in gold.
I prayed for clay that I could mold.
Love is safer I was told.
Safe before the sun.
Take a listen
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1446&ArtistID=9993
Author notes
www.cdbaby.com/horus82
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1446&ArtistID=9993
Written January 19th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 60 of 60
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wow, this could a be legendary poem! fantastic! it's interesting, it's got the flavour, i can even feel the vision of the writer, this poem is clear, very wonderful, like what Blue Eyed Skies say "this is a very original piece" and i totally agree with that, wow this piece is just exquisite! KEEP WRITING!
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This is a very original piece. I like the stanza with the Wiccan imagery, and the picture definitely adds to the overall feel. Good job.
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Very good write. well done
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I like the lyrical feel of this piece. It holds such imagery. This is a really good piece. Great write. - cgirl0410
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listened 25 x
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... It loves you too.
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i love this song ...
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Cool
Very nice. I like it. And very individual. -
very well written
I love this. You have made it flow and rhyme so well. I am going to have to listen to this.
etherealforu
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nice. I liked it. you did good.
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I like talking steak.
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I'm sick of chicken honestly, I'm in the mood for steak, and that's what it looks like to me.
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A miraculous blend of abrading and pleading.
Darn you, here I am trying to save points for the Cancer Group contest to be and all I want do is give applause to you. this is a piece of magic, an illusory call of love rather than prestidigitation. your imagery is spellbinding, your form and intent immaculate, and the repetition of the first verse a perfect ending. Lordy this goes on my favs lisst along with you, awesome! -
At this point in time, it all tastes like chicken.
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The depth in this poem is more than what it seems that's for sure.
Especially here;
You could say, "We're way too spiritual,
and tango hipped by far."
Didn't like the music much, but it did portray the 'truth in drunk daze' atmosphere.
the 'Safe before the sun.' gave me two impressions;
1/ when the stupor is over there's impending doom
2/ though this relationship is still held together it is still surrounded by an aire of doom
doom doom doom... but you know all this don't you?
I'll tell you something you didn't know then; I think the girl in that pic is pretty damn hot. -
excellent lyrical piece ... i will listen to the link later
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this is really good... deep, and it flows well. great job.
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GReat!!! thanks for sharing
I am a bit new finding my way about AP. Stop by and leave some thoughts about my poems. thanks -
I found this to be a hugely intelligent write - so deep and so meaningful. It feels like all the praise I want to give you is so blah in comparison, so I'll just say this was a hugely enjoyable write x
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I REALLY ENJOYED READING THIS. I FOUND A DEEP MEANING IN IT, SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
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this was amazing...wow...i cant get over the slight complexity of it i really really loved it xxxxxxx
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Very very good indeed... I like when music and poetry all mix together... I'm going right now to have a look at the website... Well done man and thanks for sharing!
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Good chorus and the tango line simply shines.
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this is beautiful, i can see why you have so many trophies! this really captivates the audience, i can see it being sung or simply read for pleasure...i'm really looking forward to reading more of your work!
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Very nicely done! I love the way it flows, and the rhyming is so natural. I particularly like the first stanza, I can't really describe why.... excellent peice of work though x
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I assume you are Wiccan...if not I apologize for the assumption. I used to follow that path but now have changed ways. I respect it and honor it fully however and I think this piece was beautiful. It reminded me of old feelings I used to have. You would make a great song writer if you aren't already! Keep writing and coming up with ideas!
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This was realy amazing, cool rhymes and it flowed like a song
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i actually liked this, as being very different to what im used to reading this..
But you were worth your weight in gold.
I prayed for clay I could mold.
Love is safer I was told.
Safe before the sun.
i loved that
great job,
Jen
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I clicked on your list and I've chosen this hit! Wow - I missed a part of you.
Myra -
very good but alas i'm sorry to say, it didn't have burning love in the author's comments
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very nice work sorry I can't comment more but i will at the end good luck and ty for entering TAZZ
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Lol, yeah that's called a chorus.
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this is great, i really like it, the words are great but i think the rhymes were in the wrong places or something like that, its a great write though.
Thanks for entering my contest though!
~*Arwen Evenstar*~ -
and i can definately imagine this a song, and i can even hear your voice in my ears whispering out a tune to it....while adjusting your guitar strings to make it right...
though, i hardly call love safe.
Nyx... -
Probably one of the sappiest (without being sappy) ..in a direct way that I've read by you, but I like it ..has that feel of a conversation between two people who really know what it's about..and THAT I can relate to. Well written, and I'm going to go see if I can hear it.
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It is, a song on my second album avalaible on the cdbaby link on my homepage.
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Actually it's on my second cd, to check it out got to the cd baby link on my homepage
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Is this going to go on a CD? I would love to hear it put to music! I love this piece, and parts of it reminded me of California. Very good visuals and it made me feel, which is what I want.
Thanks!
blueyes
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I just love this..any thoughts for music?..i think this would be a totally wicked song..brilliant.
katt -
this was absolutely beautiful.. very becoming on love.
Yvonne
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Doh. I've been here a million times but can't stay away. Wonder what the hell that means?
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I dont mean to sound insulting by this, but I must say that this poem would double as a great song too. Mainly because one of the verses was repeated at the end. I enjoyed the imagery, very depictive. Keep on going
~*darklonelyone88*~ -
i feel there is a story behind this maybe a long lost freind a good old time one who has lost some one what every that maybe it was great i liked it the way u flowed ur words and the way u talked about how danced and the way ud escribed every thing it was a great poem good for u i give it a thumbs up
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will be in the top 100
i'm number 100. smile -
This, indeed, is an interesting write; not quite sure what it all means. Nevertheless, it is very well written, reflecting a great deal of talent. I feel certain the younger crowd here has a better feel for the meaning. ~~BonnieQ
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applaud
This was very well done... You captured a lot so creatively and in such a unique way... I honestly found this piece amazing...amusing really... LOL! Thanks for sharing this and take care of yourself. ~Star -
www.cdbaby.com listen to it it ! horus himself playing and singing!
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I keep thinking i've read this before but i know i haven't or have i, I can't rememebr but i still love it regaurdless...this is one of your great poems...as usual...LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.
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Questions All Around.
Does everything you imbibe start with an M? Do you put in alphabetical order your wine bottles? Or stock them by the dates? Does your wine cellar have a back door? -
I read this a few minutes ago, and had a big long nice comment typed out when stupid AOL booted me. But anyway, the first stanza made me think how in The Wedding Planner when J-Lo had gotten her shoe stuck and was trying frantically to get it unstuck before the garbage bin thingie hit her...This is a well done piece. Flows beaitfully and the wording is catchy, unqiue and interesting.
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Very nice. Fun piece, the rhyme and situations make the poem trip along at a sweet, clipping pace. Good stuff, wee!
Elle -
a summertime hit i'll always wish was written for me...
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Wow...this is great....the first lyrics in my contest...I really like...good luck...Luv Caz
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oh, just came to say how much i loved this song on the cd...see bohb beat me too it..but horus8 you better pull some of those freebies on the site...like this one and growl..to good to give away for free....
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I just listened to the 'cut of this poem on CDBABY and hell, there's overtones brought out that the words do not convey by themselves. Yah, this is a keeper fer sure.
As I said a few days ago, I hear the music and I'm gonna dance until my brain flames.....and by god, NOW I do hear the music and Martha Stewart musta been thinking of this when she said "It's a good thing." and you know, Martha is one smart chick (yah, an older experienced RICH one.) -
No problem defining how this make me feel, whoozy and weak in the knees...."tango hipped and way to far.." Beauty.
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Sun-Kissed Afterglow
Oh yeah Momma....I see the words, I hear the music and I'm gonna dance until my brain flames.
This flows very well and contains enough philosophy to employ a government agency (dedicated to rooting out and destroying thought in song and verse). Tipper would not be amused....but I am (for whatever worth that might contain).
I tend to agree with Odyssey on this - I sense a certain wistfulness, but the love overchords the entire piece and I just come away with a sun-kissed afterglow in my mind's eye. I hate it when that happens.
Another fine write. You gotta shake what the Lord done give you.
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Quite a wistful feel to this...like you asked for things you didn't quite get, and got more than you could afford to keep. I hope that makes sense, it is hard to describe exactly how these lyrics made me feel.
Do you have music for this? Often I think people call it "lyrics" without having much sense of any tune. Certainly, more lyrical than the poetry I have read of yours, very sing-song in its rhyme and feel...different to the other stuff I have read.
"Too drunk to strum guitar" hehe I came home one night and tried to play (only learning so it is an effort anyways) and boy, is it nigh on impossible with that much vodka under my belt. Fingers forget what day it was, let alone the appropriate fret to feel out. -
Lovely to see the plane in a different light.
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