This garden is a shrill unsightly state
I watch as moonbeams mock the murky loam
and streams converge to glimpse the tepid fate
amidst the pitted black where myrtles moan
It is an irony this seasoned plot
to let the lusty winds unhinge their rage
coerce the pink hibiscus buds to rot
on a confettied mat of fiery sage
yet though a shade of blue consumes the night
through densely mists, the end-all of the act-
some seed below the marl will know its might
there with nature's contention make a pact
it is a will these mellow wisps sustain
to live knowing that soon they'll die again
Author notes
Gustov really destroyed my Mother's garden, it was still a tropical storm but a very powerful one. It has always been this way though, before the next hurricane season the garden will once again be a flowery affair
I tried to put a bit of philosophy here for a friend I dearly love
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 10 Goodbye - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
10000 points, ended September 21, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Four lines spoilt the flow, A.J try these.
upon confettied mat of fiery sage
through mist so dense, the end-all of the act-
with nature's own contention make a pact
to live and know they soon to die again
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awesome ...absolutely breathtaking!
wow
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beautiful imagery.
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A sonnet that flows beautifully, with a soulful philosophy. Really well done. I identify with the final line.
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Oh wow... This is just so lovely, and with a beautiful tinge of melancholy to boot. I have never been one who could really write rhyme - but I do so enjoy those who can - those who do it well, and also leave the reader a chance to absorb some relevance; allowing room to actually FEEL. Excellent piece my dear, as always!
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Wow.
I'm left speechless.
Good luck in the contest;
you'll win ♥
-Rainbow. -
I love this AJ!!! oh wow. It was a stormy, petal exploding ride.
Good stuff dear.
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Thank you for your entry in the final contest of the series. An excellent sonnet dealing with the harshness of nature, I'm happy you all survived, even if the garden didn't. This was a joy to read.
All the best and please join us in any future contests we may run for rhyming poetry.
Sue and Jeff
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Beautifully painted imagery, very poignant. I don't think I've read a form poem of yours before, this is marvelous!
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Your rhyme dances with a natural rhythm dearest Poet, it works not because of the form but because of the finesse it impresses with. A tad unsure whether Irony need be capitalized, as always, simply an honest, caring perspective shared. A joy to read, despite the full force of nature you were able to beautify it. Enough rambling. Bravo.
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Thank you Yvette, you can ramble on any poem of mine oh thanks for showing me that
removed the caps
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Thankyou too AJ Bless your cotton socks!
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Not bad, not bad at all. Jings - a sonnet, and a well-composed one too. Have an enthusiastic row of bouncing bunnies.
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just "not bad"?
.. just kidding
thank you lots Mairi
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"Not bad" has a cachet of its own round here. Just ask Jeff.
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lol I'll take your word for it
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