Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Birthday Poem for Aneka

 

 

I heard your birthday's coming soon

so let's have pancakes on the moon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then for our desert methinks

 

 

 

 

a hot fudge sunday on the sphinx.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then let's do what we've never tried

a black and white striped pony ride!

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know what makes this poem neat?

It was typed by a parakeet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Happy Birthday Aneka

A contest entry

Tell of victories over demons!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Aneka Bellingan
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You silly!! you are not a parakeet

    I really had pancakes on my birthday THANK YOU!! Granny made me some cause we went to sleep there. And I know the poem you write now, I told it to my granny and she laughed.

    This is the best one and I want to say thank you for sending it to me from over the sea.

    Anny


    • PerVirtuous
      September 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Why, I think this may be the best comment I ever got. Thank you. I love pancakes, too. My granny made them big and thick. I like them with chocolate chips in them. Thank you for talking to me.


  • myrataal silver member
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wow ...

    Such a clever and special little birthday poemie! Clappies for your Allan, you know how to steal a little girl's heart (and those of some bigger ones too) ...

    Congrats!

    Love
    Always Myra


    • PerVirtuous
      September 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      How can one steal what is given to them willingly? You have me a criminal when I am, in fact, only receiving what I give in a very fair exchange.

      • myrataal silver member
        September 10, 2008

        Edit | Reply

        Don't you know ...

        stealing a heart is not criminal, but actually an act of giving?

        • PerVirtuous
          September 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Then in that case I'm Robin Hood.


          • Lyndon gold member
            September 11, 2008

            Edit | Reply

            If you are Robin Hood

            give the gold to me as I am in need.

            Congratulations just the same
            A tropy's a trophy, all the same!

            I wonder if "robbin' " came from our Robin?


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very clever, Thank you so much for entering the contest! Aneka Loved this poem! She could tell immediately that you were talking about Egypt and Africa! She was so happy to receive these poems. Thank you for taking part and making her day so special!

    Rebekah


    • PerVirtuous
      September 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Quite frankly, it must have been subconscious that the sphinx reference, the zebra reference and the parakeet reference were all about things native to Africa. I didn't even make that realization until you pointed it out. Shows what I know!


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A simple poem, but she will adore the pictures.

    All the best ... Sue


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A perfect fifth birthday poem. A major skill in all writing is to pitch as closely as possible at your audience, this is not only poetically right but achieves that match better than anything else in the contest!

    Not Bad!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Point of information, thats a budgie! But what the hades! Nice writing, pitched just right - she'll love it.

    the usual line-up of hairy hooligans.

    • Lyndon gold member
      September 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      I'll vouch for that

      It is a budgie from Australia.


    • PerVirtuous
      September 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Truth be told it is a gijirrigaa. I simply couldn't make that rhyme so I used my poetic lisence and called it a parakeet. I was quite convinced I did not have such a stickler for an audience.

      • Lyndon gold member
        September 11, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        Then in that case

        you are right, Allan.

      • Mairi bheag gold member
        September 9, 2008
        Edit | Reply


        I just KNOW you're going to tell me you knew that already!


        • PerVirtuous
          September 10, 2008

          Edit | Reply
          The Common Pet Parakeet is more correctly called the Budgerigar or budgie and comes from Australia. They are common and popular pets throughout the world. All budgies are parakeets but not all parakeets are budgies.


          • Mairi bheag gold member
            September 10, 2008

            Edit | Reply

            According to my literary agent (the uncrowned High King of Limerick)...


            A grand little chap is the budgerigar -
            A bird for whom I have sudgerigar.
            The commoner parrot
            is not worth a carrot -
            I never hold him in as mudgerigar!


            • Lyndon gold member
              September 11, 2008
              Edit | Reply

              Lover-lee!

              Birdie, birdie, up in the tree,
              Why, oh why, don't you talk to me?
              I'm a budgie and I natter
              So, keep your inane chatter!

            • PerVirtuous
              September 10, 2008
              Edit | Reply
              I see the emphasis is on the "High".

              Love it.

        • PerVirtuous
          September 9, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          I knew you were going to say that.


  • Amera gold member
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hehe... this is adorable! She'll love it.


    Love,
    Amera♥

1 - 24 of 24