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Every Breath I Take Shatters My Heart

 

 

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With every breath I take

 

 

I fall deeper into this hole

 

 

the one I dug for myself

 

 

the night that I found you

 

 

deep inside of her

 

 

in our bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

20-30 Words
Prompt: Picture #2

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Lil-Bit Crazy
    September 4, 2008

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    ouch.....! i feel your pain.... breath slowly... hugs..... great write... good luck in contest....!!!!


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 4, 2008
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    Simply beautiful! Well done!


  • maralisa silver member
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow a brilliant take on the promt very powerful good luck in the contest


  • trekkergirl
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! This is soooo angsty. I just feel the pain in this very short but very well written. Piece. Good job! And good job picking the picture too. Goes well with the poem


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 4, 2008

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    WOW..

    the pain that seeps from these words is very powerful and extremely profound. I can relate to this one unfortunately.. the ex boyfriend chested on me for the entire 7 yrs I went out with him.. no longer with him been free for 2yrs..

    the emotional pain that it causes it very painful and it hurts like hell.

    excellent take on the prompt. Fantastic write.

    good luck

    kat
    s x infinity


  • jcat gold member
    September 4, 2008

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    I would have f-ing killed them both!!! I mean come on....cheat if you feel the need but when you do it upon my bed you have crossed the line!!! The only hole I would have been digging would have been for their pathetic broken and hole-ridden bodies!!! Awesome write here....


  • Age of Rain
    September 4, 2008

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    ouch! That reads like it was true. I hope you didn't have to go through that. The write though, is well constructed. Nicely done.


  • Ms. Black Eyeliner
    September 4, 2008
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    this is an amazing write great job

    the breaks accentuate the feeling in this poem awesome job


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhhh... well.. having had a relationship with a serial cheater for 7 years (been free of that for 5) I can surely relate to this!!

    Very hard hitting! Awesome write bro!

1 - 9 of 9