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Pending a poem

Metaphors snake

like vines around ankles

delivered from Eden

on gentle breezes

in discrete brown packages

 

they sing when released

and turn golden when polished

like skin

ripe and ready to bite

 

sinfully delicious

 

I’m not good at breaking

but the rain wants to reveal my secrets

and I can’t inhale deep enough

to purge them out

 

one petal at a time is plucked

like a dead chicken

being stripped for Sunday supper

plump and juicy

inside a nest of self

 

truth lies between nonsense

as answers circle

like vultures over a dead deer

time spills like water

splashes in our face

leaves a perspective of our difference

 

seemingly I crumble

little by little each day

caught in a cycle of deliberate destruction

the quiet of a mind

that fell off the deep end long ago

 

if only I could disappear

 

freedom stays tucked away

and plays tug of war with my soul

it snaps gravity from me

sits majestically on my shoulder and taunts

 

I want to rip the brown package open

and scream bloody murder

in poetic proportion

metaphorically speaking of course

 

but life rolls forward

behind the same four walls

that pool into years

becomes silent on the tip of tongue

and metaphors still snake

like vines around ankles

pending a poem

from the lips of solitary confinement

 

 

 

9/3/08 

Author notes

Prompt: dragging a dead deer up a hill

A contest entry

How might I grow without your thoughts to feed me?

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great usage of metaphor and boy did you manage to run with the prompt poetically, tentatively wondered whether become could also work as becoming? Bravo.


    • zochit2me gold member
      September 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment and read. I did change become to becomes. I appreciate the eye and suggestion.



      ♥Becky♥


  • apples fell
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    "one petal at a time is plucked
    like a dead chicken
    being stripped for Sunday supper
    plump and juicy
    inside a nest of self"
    - Love this stanza.

    "pending a poem
    from the solitary confinement of lips"
    -I would rather it read:
    "pending a poem
    from the lips of solitary confinement...
    As I felt "of lips" was an awkward ending.

    Other than this, you have spilled forth something
    that seems to come to life under its own weight,
    quite possibly to force itself into understanding
    and back into the fold...

    ;


    • zochit2me gold member
      September 4, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I whole heartedly agree. That's why it is nice to have a second set of eyes. Thanks so much for your support and comments.
      You rock!!!!

      ♥Becky♥


  • aliceramone
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is excellent on the prompt with great life metaphors here...words float with grace into a great ending...a great piece.


    • zochit2me gold member
      September 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Sweet Iggy
      It is so nice to see you here...I miss you terrible

      thanks for stopping by
      I hope to see you post something soon

      ♥Becky♥


  • tara wilson gold member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you just wrote exactly how you felt about writing the poem, that you didn't know how to go about writing....I love this


    • zochit2me gold member
      September 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      By george I think you are right

      WhoooooooHoooooo!

      LOL

      I love you Tara

      ♥Becky♥

1 - 9 of 9