Sitting out sun bathing in the sunshine
Open up the fridge out of wine
Grab the ticks where off to the supermarket
Wouldn't go there if they didn't sell Piss
Someone told me eatings cheating
Thats why I'm always pissed
Pissed in the morning pissed at night
You must be thinking he's pissed allright
You'd be right so damn right
The thirst it only ever gets worse
My Hands they shake with this evil curse
And the end result an empty purse
But I can't resist that supermarket
The morning hits my head compounds
Not many braincells left to drown
My mind is weak
And future bleak
But I'm off to the supermarket
Because they always sell piss
The End
Storyteller2008
A contest entry
- Addictions by starlite.
600 points, ended September 30, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hi welcome to AP. The title drew me in. I love the voice here, and yes it has a gritty substance to it. The ryhme works nicely and it has a quick flow. I've never read a more pleasant use of the word "piss".
I look forward to reading you in future.
Slug.
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good
I love the grittiness, the immersion into character, i read it out loud the second time thru, and found that I have no critique for you.
Enjoyable. Thank You for sharing
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